Thursday, March 27, 2014

Why I Write

Seven Steps...Five Ways...Ten Types...So many bloggers out there offer solutions to your problems, answers to your questions, pathways to success. Sorry, friends, no such revelations here. I don't give advice, I'm just here to share my journey, hoping to make a few friends on the way.

But as I move toward the possibility of writing a book, my approach has fatal flaws. Publishers look for something called "platform." In order to build platform, I have to garner a massive audience, and according to those in the industry, the best way to do that would be to establish myself as an "expert" in a certain field.

But I'm no expert. 

I'm a stumbling sojourner, making my way towards Jesus one flawed step at a time. I don't have an area of specialized experience, a unique strength, or a single subject matter about which I blog. And I don't think I ever will. 

What's a blogger-wanna-be-book author to do? I just don't see myself as the kind of person who writes from a place of expertise. I don't set myself up as a person who gives answers, I prefer to ask questions, engage in dialogue, and share musings. My voice does not say, "Here's what you need to do." My voice says, "Let's look for Jesus together." But apparently publishers like authors with answers.

So I've been wrestling with God, wondering if maybe I'm not meant to write a book after all. God's not letting me off the hook. Just when I thought that I'd convinced him that I don't have a book in me, he spoke loud and clear.

I was at church, trying to explain once again that I was not qualified to write a book, when we began singing a French worship song. In the midst of the chorus, I began to weep. The words that I sang with my mouth, the Lord spoke directly to my heart:

"Peuple de Dieu ouvre ta bouche, Dieu veut parler"
People of God, open your mouth, God wants to speak!

The book is not meant to come out of me, but through me. I am the vessel, the envelope, the messenger. He is the message.

So I'll write the book. Even though I don't have platform. Even though it may never get published. Even though I may be the only person who reads it.  Yes, I am compelled to write it so that I might know Jesus better.

In the next few weeks I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to go away by myself for ten days to write. And to tell you truth, it scares me a bit. I'm scared I'll write my words instead of his. Fleshy words. Worthless words.

But I'm going to write it anyway. Because maybe...just maybe if I open my mouth, God will speak.

1 comment:

  1. I will be praying with you for those days. You are a 'voice' in so many ways, and very perceptive of TRUTH. God bless you during this adventure.