On Sunday David and I set aside some time to re-connect. We have been going a million miles an hour in 47 different directions (and we could be on this ride for a while) so we have to be intentional about making time to sit across the table from each other to share our plans, thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears.
We always seem to get off to a bumpy start, each of us having different needs and expectations for our time together. David wants to make to-do lists while I want to laugh and play games. We trip over each other's sentences, roll our eyes (okay, David doesn't do this one), and sometimes throw up our hands. It gets awkward and feels like we are going nowhere fast, but we stick with it. We persevere. We keep trying.
At one highly tense moment, we each took a notepad and went to "separate corners" of the house. David used the time to make a list of ten things he loves about me. (Only there were about 25 things on his list.) I used the time to make a list of the ten things that I hate the most about being in this pre-field missionary stage of life. Yeah, I was the whiner. When we came back together, we shared our lists. They were vastly different, but somehow, they built the bridge that we were so longing to find to each other.
From that point we found our bearings. We have big decisions ahead, challenging goals, and high hopes. And to get to the place that we are certain that God has called us, we need to be on the same team--rowing in the same direction. But this does not happen naturally. Not for us. It takes commitment, and effort, and sometimes frustration and disappointment.
I am so very thankful for a husband who is willing to stick through the messy parts of marriage and a God that make forgiveness, reconciliation, love, joy, and peace possible--despite my whiny moments.
I am finished whining--for a while--that list is history. I would, however, like to have David's list to hang on the fridge. Just so he doesn't forget how lovable I am!
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As I read through your post, I just smiled. I know you felt like a whiner but in your story I see marriage as a picture of Christ and the church played out.
ReplyDeleteYou honestly went to your husband with your fears and concerns. As our covering, we're supposed to be able to do that-- God designed them just for that (to take the hits). I love that you don't feel like you have to hold it all together for him.
He, in turn, reminded you of his love for you. He shared his "precious" thoughts towards you.
In the end, your were able to leave your list and not pick it up again. You had peace and reassurance.
I just love that it modeled our relationship with Jesus... we go to Him with a head and heart full of stuff and He reminds us of His love for us. Yes, practical stuff does get dealt with, but not until we know He precious thoughts towards us. Then, confident in His love, we can leave the troubles at His feet and get on with the business/ good works that He has called us to.
Thank you for the reminder to go to Him.
My head and my heart have been very full today and now I know just what to do.