Thursday, October 30, 2014

Learning to Stop

Life has been a bit irregular.

Due to travel and transitions, I have seen my husband a total of 13 days out of the past 10 weeks.

Since October 1, I have slept in 7 different beds in 7 different cities and spent over 50 hours traveling by plane, train, and automobile.

And (much to our delight) some of our dearest friends came to visit us from the States, so of the 13 days that David and I have spent together, 3 of them were spent hostng a wonderful and generous family in our home. Yestderday, David went with those friends to Paris for a few days. He'll come home tomorrow.

So today I woke up at 6 a.m. (like I do every weekday), planning to spend an hour alone with the Lord, then go to morning prayer, followed by a 5 mile run. After that I planned to attend a small group and get busy with my homework and all of the ministry responsibilities that I have placed on the backburner. Oh, and I need to schedule a hair cut for Chandler, and take his watch in for repair, and..., and..., and....

Did I mention that in this time frame I celebrated my Dad's 80th birthday with family (Graham was there! So I hugged the stuffing out of him!). Or that my Mom had a total knee replacement followed by post-operative complications that landed her in the cardiac ward?

And then, two days ago, our clothes dryer stopped working.

Anyway, all of that is why I say, "Life has been a bit irregular."

Having Type A tendencies (read: DRIVEN) I just keep plowing ahead, resisting fatigue (no time for jetlag!) and denying the fact that I feel completely overwhelmed.

I tell myself things (half-truths, really) like, "Life is tough all over, suck it up, Buttercup. Nobody likes a whiner." The whole truth is, I am so afraid of appearing weak--or worse, failing--that I forget that my life, and all its craziness, is meant to be lived in surrender to God, not according to my own precious plans.

So, when I woke up at 6 a.m. to spend time alone with God, he spoke very clearly to me.

"Go back to bed."

"But God, I need to run!"

"No, you have been running, you need to rest."

"But God, I have JOB! There is ministry I need to do."

"You are taking a personal day. Cancel all appointments. Now."

"But God, I'll get behind in my classes."

"You'll learn everything you need to know."

"The sabbath is just two days away. You know I always rest on the Sabbath. I can make it two more days.

"When was the time you took a Sabbath?"

"September. The last Saturday in September. No wonder I'm tired."

"Go back to bed," God said. "And when you wake up, here is your agenda:

  • Write a Blog
  • Play a game with Chandler
  • Take Gemma on a Walk
  • Read a book
  • Crochet"

If life could be likened to a game of "Red Light, Green Light," I'd say I'm pretty good at "Go, go, go." I 'm still learning to "Stop."

Today I finally stopped. I went back to bed and slept until 10 a.m. I'm thankful for God who ordains rest.

For he grants sleep to the ones that he loves.