Selah

This weekend we actively pursued Selah. At a spa.

We did not take a vacation in 2015. Not one. Not even a weekend away. We failed in our scheduling and in our budgeting, and we have only ourselves to blame. We worked 60 hours a week, and we ended the year tired, hopeless, and a tiny bit grumpy.

And so, as I feel called to a year of Selah, to a period of slowing down and reflecting, David and I decided that rather than simply hoping vacations would happen in 2016, we would take a proactive stance where rest was concerned.

Our Christmas gift to each other was a three-day weekend at a spa in the resort city of Annecy, complete with massage treatments and some of our favorite meals. We also committed to spending the time away working on our 2016 family budget and putting vacation dates down on the calendar for the rest of year. We had deep and important spiritual conversations, and time to reconnect relationally in much needed ways.

We accomplished all that we set out to accomplish, and came home today refreshed and ready for the days and weeks ahead. We have a family vacation scheduled for this summer. And another weekend getaway planned for November. We have a tricky Spring, as all of us have different Spring Breaks; however, we are committed to finding a weekend of rest that will work for all us this Spring as well. The budget has been adapted to account for these vacations.

And I am grateful. Rest is a gift, but one I often miss. In 2016, I'm not gonna miss it.

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Selah

 For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said,

“In repentance and rest you will be saved,

In quietness and trust is your strength.”

But you were not willing..."

Isaiah 30: 15

Selah

Repentance: noun

1. deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like










  

Selah

I've been taught that repentance, in biblical texts, means to turn 180°. It probably does. But while I am quick to turn, always eager to get back on track when I've gone astray, I don't spend too much time in deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition over my sin. Evangelicals don't encourage such things. We're more focused on "moving forward." In fact, I think we (okay, I) might even equate compunction and contrition with "wallowing in sin." 

"You're forgiven, already! Get over it."

For my class in Missional Leadership, I read a book called A Failure of Nerve. It was a great book, where the author analyzed  the root causes of leadership failures. One such cause is the need/desire/impulse to rush to a solution. Because I don't like the messiness of problems, I will often opt for a quick, albeit less-desireable, outcome rather than wait for the highest and best.  

Is my rush to forgiveness and redemption actually limiting the quality of both? Might I experience a deeper forgiveness and a more complete redemption if I allowed repentance to do its work?

I like the idea of Selah in comfortable a cozy places. But will I learn to pause for reflection in the uncomfortable, even painful places? Can this, too, be a part of Selah?  

Lord, teach me to grieve my sin. Help me to feel the weight of it. Let me see your sorrow over it. I don't want to lightly gloss over misspoken words, wayward thoughts, selfish behaviors, and nasty attitudes. I don't want to overlook my pride. I don't want to cherish my self-righteousness. I don't want to ignore my carelessness. I want to discover true repentance, that I might more fully know your grace. Make me willing. 

Note: I plan to meditate on this verse all year. This is my  Selah passage--so there will be more to come from Isaiah 30:15. Much, much more.

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