The Now and Not-Yet Kingdom of God

For the past three years I have had the joy and the privilege of working with and learning from these 49 men and 2 women. Representing at least nine different evangelical denominations, we met together every six months with the goal of accelerating the rate of church planting in France. Among the participants, there is a vision to plant ninety new churches over the next three years...some denominations planting as many as 30 churches in that time frame, some as few as 4. All seeking to make their best contribution towards seeing God's kingdom come in France.

I was not on a denominational team for this project, but on the team that was facilitating the gatherings. My specific role was to plan and lead the times of spiritual reflection and formation. The facilitation team had decided early on that we wanted each gathering to be marked by a spiritual rhythm, so we did not simply begin and end each day with prayer; rather, we paused several times each day to read scripture, intercede for each other, and listen to God.

One of our final spiritual exercises was to build an "Altar of Remembrance." First we read the story of Moses and the battle of the Amalakites. At the end of the story, Moses builds an altar to the Lord and calls it, "The Lord Is My Banner." I talked about how the name given to an altar expressed both gratitude for what God had done and hope for God would do in the future. I then asked each person to consider what name they would give to an altar that was built to commemorate what God had done in and through us over the past three years. Next, each participant was given a card that had his or her own photo attached to it. They were asked to write the name of  their altar next to their photo. Finally, each person was invited to come to the front of the room to share the name of their altar, and then to add their card to our communal altar. In this way we proclaimed together what God has done AND declared our hope for what He would continue to do. Here was how our altar turned out:

It was a holy moment. We concluded by singing several songs of gratitude and praise together. So there's a small peek at one of the ways God is working in France. To Him be the glory!

Tweet

Selah

This weekend we actively pursued Selah. At a spa.

We did not take a vacation in 2015. Not one. Not even a weekend away. We failed in our scheduling and in our budgeting, and we have only ourselves to blame. We worked 60 hours a week, and we ended the year tired, hopeless, and a tiny bit grumpy.

And so, as I feel called to a year of Selah, to a period of slowing down and reflecting, David and I decided that rather than simply hoping vacations would happen in 2016, we would take a proactive stance where rest was concerned.

Our Christmas gift to each other was a three-day weekend at a spa in the resort city of Annecy, complete with massage treatments and some of our favorite meals. We also committed to spending the time away working on our 2016 family budget and putting vacation dates down on the calendar for the rest of year. We had deep and important spiritual conversations, and time to reconnect relationally in much needed ways.

We accomplished all that we set out to accomplish, and came home today refreshed and ready for the days and weeks ahead. We have a family vacation scheduled for this summer. And another weekend getaway planned for November. We have a tricky Spring, as all of us have different Spring Breaks; however, we are committed to finding a weekend of rest that will work for all us this Spring as well. The budget has been adapted to account for these vacations.

And I am grateful. Rest is a gift, but one I often miss. In 2016, I'm not gonna miss it.

Tweet

What's Up?

Dear, dear friends! When things get quiet on the blog it's because life is hopping in real life! I hope that when you're not hearing from us, you're praying extra hard because that means we are running extra hard. I've entered into a travel season, and will be bouncing around the globe for a few weeks. But in the midst, I wanted to just give you a few highlights and prayer requests:

Church Plant in Old Lyon

• The People: We are loving our new home and already finding opportunities to engage our neighbors. I had an unexpected time praying with my new language helper, and I think God is already at work in her life. We have invited  all of our neighbors to an Open House this Saturday, and they all seem eager to come. Pray for the seeds of friendship to be planted and for open doors to the Gospel.
• The Need for a Building: Two of us from the team went to a meeting with the deputy mayor last week to make inquiries about abandonded buildings in the neighborhood. There are many vancant, vandalized buildings that do not have any contact information on them and we wanted to find out how to get in touch with the owners. We did get some leads, and today another team member is going to attempt to track down some phone numbers of owners through the avenues suggested by the mayor's office. Please pray for success! And that the Lord would lead us to just the right location. We'd like to be able to use the location for not only church services, but daily prayer meetings and also as a means to bless the community, perhaps through art exhibits or offering shared office space to starting entrepreneurs. 
• The Team: As we get together twice daily to pray for the city, the project, and each other, the Lord is knitting us together as a team. I am so excited about the gifts and experiences that each person brings to the table. David and I have started training two members on how to preach, and for the past three Sundays we have worshipped together as a team and then our teammates have practiced preaching to us. This gives them an opportunity to try out their new skills without too much pressure, And we are also able to give them feedback to help them contiue to grow and develop.

Other Ministry Endeavors

• Regional Church Planting Training Center: Today David is at a meeting in Paris for those who would like to open regional church planting training centers. This is a big part of our vision for Lyon, as we don't want to just plant one church but help to facilitate a church planting movement in the city. Please pray for wisdom and resources as David seeks to put all of the pieces in place that are needed in order to be certified to establish a regional training center here in Lyon. We already have one guy who is asking about enrolling in the program--which we hope to launch in the Fall of 2016.
• Trampoline: I don't have the time to go into too many details at this time, but this is the name of a ministry that I am hoping to launch in France in 2016. I am in the throes of doing research and making contacts and laying groundwork, and the response from all sides has been highly positive. The purpose of the ministry will be to help new missionaries who are arriving in France to reach deeper levels of integration, higher levels of effectiveness, and  greater levels of longevity on the field. I'm sure I'll be sharing more about this in the future, but for the time being I could use your prayers as I seek to develop a program that honors the vision and calling of missionaries as well as the faithful work and wisdom of our French brothers and sisters.  
• Church Planting: On Sunday I will go to Madrid for a conference that will bring together leaders from 16 different European countries to talk about leading national processes for church planting. Over 80 leaders will attend, and the conference will be led by a consortium of european leaders who have had successful experiences in this endeavor--some of which are my French colleagues. I have been invited to lead the times of meditation/reflection for this conference. My prayer is this: Word of God, speak through me. 

Family Adventures

• Flying: After a year of dashed hopes and false starts, it looks like David may actually be starting to do some flying here in Lyon. He has built a business relationshp with a plane owner and a travel coordintor, and he is starting to receive requests for his piloting services. Our hope is that he would be able to fly one day a week, which would help to offset my seminary tuition costs and would give us some credibility/relatability in the eyes of our French friends and neighbors.
• University Students: Chan has jumped into medical school with both feet, and seems to have settled into a routine. Graham is regularly texting us about the diversity of speakers that he gets to hear at convocation at Liberty--you know, like David Platt one week, and Bernie Sanders the next. This week they had someone from Lord of the Rings.

Well, friends, that's a snapshot of our life at the moment. I've left a lot out, but at least I've hit the highlights. We are so thankful for your prayers. So thankful. In all of these things, we want to see Jesus lifted high.

Tweet

Au Revoir

On Monday, if all things go as planned, David and I will make a five hour drive to Lyon to sign a lease on our new apartment. We won't move until the middle of August, but between now and then we will go to a conference in Germany, and so next week will be our last full week living in the Loire Valley.

As part of our farewell tour, we're going to some of our favorite spots. Yesterday we went to the château and gardens at Villandry.

David and I enjoyed the shade of the grape leaves...

...while Selah (a friend from the States) and Chandler mimicked the silhouettes on Grecian urns. 

We ended the morning with a picnic in a nearby park. It was a lovely day!

We also went to the nearby town of Amboise this week for some of our favorite gelato. They always make the cones look like flowers, which makes this a treat that is tasteful in every way!

I'm so thankful we have Selah here because she is giving us a wonderful excuse to visit all our favorite spots one more time before our move.

Tweet

Good News/ Bad News

Good News: I finished my summer term of seminary, and I now have a break until September! I am eager to read FICTION, get back into a regular rhythm of blogging, and begin working on plans for a new ministry endeavor that I have brewing in my head.

Bad News: Our third application for an apartment in Lyon was denied.

Good News: Some very dear friends have offered to be co-signers for us, so our next application has a fighting chance!

Bad News: I (who almost NEVER play video games) have become addicted to a Play Station game called Hot Shots Golf. No, I don't golf in real life. But I'm beginning to understand the attraction. I'm having to self-impose limits on my gaming time, and while I can stick to my limits, I'm amazed at how confining they feel. And for the record, I totally blame Chandler, who had actually started praying that we would find a video game that I like to play.

Good News: I'm getting good at Hot Shots Golf. Yesterday I even beat David. I shot a -11 on 18 holes in Okinawa.

Bad News: My hip, which started hurting back in October, has worsened. I'm going in for an x-ray next week.

Good News: A hip x-ray in France costs 27,50€. That's a little over $30 with today's exchange rate. For reals.

Bad News: If the x-ray shows any sign of arthritis (which my doctor says is unlikely given my age, but still a possibilty) I will have to stop running.

Good News: If the x-ray shows any sign of arthritis I get to stop running!

Bad News: We won't be taking a vacation this summer--moving is our big splurge.

Good News: We still have some time off in August, which we will (hopefully) be able to use to get settled in Lyon. And exploring our new city will feel sort of like a vacation! Except the packing. I hate packing.

Bad News: I need to pack.

Good News: When all things are offered up to the Lord, bad news is made good. That's the gospel, Friends. Beauty from ashes. From video games to x-rays to packing--I rejoice, for my redemption draws near.

Tweet

The Bac Results

French Bac results are posted on the door of the main office of the Lycée, and since we live right accross the street from the Lycée, we have witnessed the excitement of this day every summer for the past four years. Students arrive, nervous. Then they quickly scan the pages, looking for their name. Chandler's school has a 97% pass rate, so for the most part students are not too worrried about passing, they are curious to find out if they received a "mention," which is what I think Americans would call an "honor."

The grading system is a complex formula that assigns varying coefficients to each subject matter depending on the chosen major of the student. For example, as a Science Major, Chandler's math, biology, and Physics/chemistry exams had the highest coefficients, while history, philosphy, and languages had lower coefficients. The highest possible grade is 20/20. A student must acheive 10/20 to pass. Honors are given for 12-14/20 ( Assez Bien or Satisfactory), 14-16/20 (Bien or Well Done) and 16-18/20 (Très Bien or Very Well Done). Anything over 18 is extremely rare, but when it happens the student receives a Very Well Done plus the congratulations of the jury.

This year, the event had personal significance, since Chandler's results would be posted on those doors. It's a quintessentially French moment...there are no graduation ceremonies, no caps and gowns, just the day of results coupled with millions of text messages offering congratulations (or condolences, as the case my be). Once the students see their posted results, they can pick up their official results in the office, which gives the breakdown of their perfomance in each subject area. Then they gather with their classmates and compare notes. Here you can see Chandler (in orange) consulting with his friends.

Chandler passed with a "mention Bien," which is signified by the B after his name in the photo below. (By the way, that is a reflection of our house in the photo, Chandler's name written on our roof!) Professors also gather at the school to congratulate students on their results. Chandler's professors were pleased with his results, some were clearly emotional. They have watched him fight these past four years, having to learn French while preparing for this major exam. Their respect for what he has accomplished and their delight in his success was was evident in their words and demeanor. 

Chandler's overall score was 15/20, but he was most pleased with his score on the Math section--a perfect 20/20. For us, the greatest achievement has been his perseverance, his resilliancy, and his faithfulness. He has done a really hard thing with amazing tenacity and a brilliant attitude. We couldn't be more proud. 

Tweet

High Anxiety

I'm not much of a worrier, or so I thought, until last year when I suffered through a season of panic attacks. Apparently, I simply repress worry until the worry stages a revolt, demanding to be heard through a racing heart beat, sensations of sheer terror, and shortness of breath. Suddenly Cool Jenn was outed by Freaked-Out Jenn. Worry was winning and I had to find a new way to cope.

Over the past year, the Lord has done deep and important work, gently inviting me to cooperate with the process, but clearly leading the way. I'm learning to face my fears--which means I have to admit they exist in the first place, darn it! Because the scary thing about fears is that they reveal root sins like a lack of faith, inordinate attachments, a need to control, and pride. God is teaching me to name these little buggers, confess them as sin, and find freedom. And I am being transformed by this process.

But over the past week, I've started feeling the flutters of anxiety once again.

We need to move to Lyon, but we are having trouble finding an apartment. Even though we meet all income requirements, our applications are being refused because we are foreigners and we don't have a co-signer. We have faced this monster before, and God always makes a way, but I'm feeling pressures of time. I know this is not a life or death issue and I know in the end it will all work out. But today? Today I'm struggling to find peace. My mind knows the truth, my soul stands firm, but my body is starting to revolt.

Providentially, I've been slowly working my way through the Sermon onthe Mount, and I recently came to section on anxiety.

Consider the lilies of the field....

Lilies don't work. They don't try to control or cajole or manipulate. They bloom in their season, tall and bright, clothed in glory but seemingly unaware of their own splendor.

Consider the birds of the air....

Birds don't worry. They don't wile away their summer wondering what will happen in the fall. They sing the glory of their creator, confident of His unending care.

And I serve a God who invites me to engage life like a lily, like a bird.

Jesus, help me to turn my impatience to praise, and my anxiety to "amen." Let me rest in the blessed assurance that you who clothe the lilies and feed the birds will not fail to meet my every need. 

Tweet

LifeSprings Retreat

This past weekend I had the amazing joy of serving as the speaker at a LifeSprings International Women's Retreat. The caliber of women that are seated in this photo is absolutely exceptional. If they hadn't been such Spirit-filled models of grace I'd have been completely intimidated, for they came from at least 10 different countries and they are doctors, lawyers, IT specialists, missionaries, authors, entrepreneurs, and engineers. They work in places like Mercedes-Benz and the United Nations. Beyond their professional roles they are sisters, mothers, daughters, aunts, and grandmas. They are from multiple denominations, Catholic and Protestant. Above all, they are lovers of Jesus who are giving their whole lives for the sake of his glory.

We spent the weekend learning about the power of God--and how we are meant to live in that power. We marveled at God's goodness, drank in his love, received his kindness, and renewed our faith in his all-sufficient grace.

I made new friends, women with whom I plan to stay connected because they are so totally awesome and they have MUCH to teach me! I delighted in the instant depth of relationship that is experienced because of our sisterhood in Christ. 

I also cherished the time with this dear friend, who came along for the ride. She was a constant source of joy and encouragement and I'm so thankful for the time we spent together.

Over the next couple of days I'll share some the notes for some of my messages here. 

Tweet

Some Thoughts on the Paris Attacks

Dear Friends,

I want to share with you some thoughts about the recent attacks in Paris. First, let me assure you that we are safe. Nevertheless, we grieve with all of France over the violence and the loss of life. We are perplexed, but not in despair. Our hope and our anchor is in the One who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

We know that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the prinicipalities of darkness. As one of our teammates keenly observed, "What happened [in Paris] was just a quick peek behind the spiritual veil. There's a war going on. And it's not East vs. West, or Religion vs. Secularism, or Islam vs. Christianity. It's Light vs. Darkness." The current tragedy may be over, but the battle has been going on for years, and it continues today. Many of the French, like all those who do not know Jesus, are helpless and harrassed, like sheep without a shepherd, and the enemy wants to pick them off by fear, doubt, isolation, violence, hatred, division, and anger. Let the events of the past week drive us to our knees in prayer for this beautiful country.

Just last month, in Lyon, I heard Jeff Fountain talk about how to read the times and how to understand and respond to current events in light of the Gospel. He explained that often we (the Body of Christ) allow secular interpretations to define our understanding of world crises, and we miss the opportunity to speak truth into situations such as these. One of my collegues shared a story about a church in Athens that had been vandalized by Islamic terrorists. A giant rock had been thrown through the window and landed on their altar. As church leaders gathered to decide how they would respond, they realized that the could see the rock as a threat...or they could accept it as an invitation to engage their muslim neighbors with the love and grace of Jesus. They decided to view the rock as an invitation, and rather than responding with fear or anger, the church intentionally sought ways to bless their attackers and sow seeds of peace. And love won the day.

So as we the Church universal consider our response to these attacks, I hope that we, too, can welcome the invitation to spread the Good News of Jesus. Apart from him, there is no peace.

Tweet

Chicken

Happy New Year!

How are those resolutions going? Mine are going great. Maybe that's because I don't have any.

Frankly 2015 seems daunting to me, and if I'm being really honest, everything in me would like to shrink back. It's sort of ironic that after 2014--where I felt God was calling me to "fly," the only thing God seems to be saying to me these days is, "Jenn, don't be a chicken."

A chicken is a flightless bird. Flightless.

While I experienced great joy and tremendous exhilaration in spreading my wings last year, I've also discovered some of the risks involved with "flying." Sure, there are times of soaring on lofty currents, but truly, it takes a lot of flapping to get there. And sometimes, while flapping with all my might, I realize that I'm not sure another current is going to come in time. I (and others) begin to question my mission. I may go so far as to question my existence. Flapping, flapping, all the while, not sure I'm even heading in the right direction for the right reasons. I circle, looking for places to land. And once I'm safely on the ground, I wonder if I really need to fly at all. Flying is fun for a while, but eventually the glamour wears off and you realize it's a lot of hard work. The ground is safe. And warm. And people don't seem to criticize or question chickens. Chickens are left alone to lay their eggs.

So maybe some days I want to be a chicken. But then I hear that unexpected whisper from the Great and Mighty Meddler who always seems to know what I'm thinking. He keeps saying one little phrase to me, over and over.

"Jenn, don't be a chicken."

How do I want to chicken-out? Let me count the ways!

I want to be a chicken when flying means leaving my comfort zone to, say, share the Gospel with a neighbor.

I want to be a chicken when flying means moving to a new city to plant a new church.

I want to be a chicken when flying means defying the stereotypes that define a good "missionary wife."

I want to be a chicken when flying means watching my children leave the nest and move across the globe.

I want to be a chicken when flying means having to do things for which I do not feel qualified.

I am a total chicken!

"Jenn, don't be a chicken."

He says it over and over and over again. Until my eyes well up with tears, and I cover my face with my hands, and I sob. Because I know that I'm a chicken. I want to be a kingdom builder, a light-bringer, a truth-teller, a God-server. But instead I'm just a chicken.

"Jenn, don't be a chicken."

But I don't know how to be anything else. I'm a big, fat land-loving chicken who once dreamed of flying, but now thinks maybe flying is too hard. Is it really worth it? Oh, Jesus, I know there are many others who were born to fly. Send them.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: Don't be a chicken.

I may have paraphrased the end of that passage from I Corinthians 1, but I think you get the gist. God uses chickens. But we can't stay chickens. We start as chickens--every one of us, I'd guess. But once he calls us to fly, he gives us wings that actually work.

The question is, will we use them? 

Tweet

In His Courts

A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of teaching a class on Leadership. While it is a subject with which I am fairly comfortable, it was a big challenge for me because all of the teaching was done in French. I prepared for months, had lots of help, and benefitted from much prayer. And (thanks be to God!) in the end I actually had a lot of fun and it seems like the teaching was well received. 

I asked the students to create a Biblical model of leadership
based on the principals that I outlined

This lovely classroom is at a retreat center near Grenoble, where 65 women gathered to begin a two-year training program that is designed to equip and empower them for ministry. The program is called Zoé, and it is a ministry offered by LifeSprings International. Students attend classes just three Saturdays a year over two years, and in between sessions they have homework, coaching, and a minnistry project that they must complete. LifeSprings has been providing this type of training in Europe for several years, but this was the first time that it was being offered in French.

Students hard at work on the their models
while I survey their progress

Women ranged in age from early 20s to mid 60s, each one passionate about the work of Christ and his call on their lives. Most of them work full-time jobs while volunteering in key ministry positions. 

Holding one group's model of leadership
so that a student could present it to the class

I taught the same course to students at a Torchbearer's Bible College that same week. Also in French. And for those of you wondering why Hawkeye Pierce  is peering over my shoulder it is because I used a three-minute clip from the TV series M*A*S*H in my teaching.

In some ways, teaching a class on Leadership is no big deal. In other ways, for me, it was monumental. Because there was a time, not too long ago, when French was such a struggle that I honestly wondered if God would ever use me in this way again. And to tell you truth, I got to the place where it would have been perfectly fine with me if I never got asked to speak again. I used to need to do this stuff to feel validated and important. By stripping me of my gifts for a season, I learned to bask in the unmerited love of the Father. Now when I teach, I am all about Him and the ones I am called to serve, and I'm no longer seeking validation for myself. I used to be building the Kingdom of Jenn. How ashamed I am to say it! Now I'm building the Kingdom of God. Better is one day His courts than thousands eslewhere! 

Tweet

Kind of Cool

There was a time in my life when the idea of crossing oceans on planes and Europe on trains would have sounded downright dreamy. Now that I'm living it--well, let's just say that while I love every minute of it, it's not always what I expect. 

Take yesterday. I was on my way to the Rhône-Alpes region of France, where I will be spending the weekend ministering in a variety of ways. The first train that I took was a high speed train that went from Tours to Lyons in three short hours. My next train was a regional train, that made several stops in small villages between Lyon and Grenoble. And then in Grenoble, this ancient inter-cities train pulled up on the track.

It was rusty and covered in graffiti, and then engine made smells that seemed to indicate distress of some kind. It was not at all what I expected. And definitely not glamorous. Rickety is more like it. I actually questioned the wisdom of getting on such a train, but what choice did I have? The ticket had been bought, and twenty minues down the line, someone would be waiting for me.

That is a pretty good metaphor for the missionary life. We live life between two places, and most of the time we keep going in the journey simply because we bought the ticket and we trust that God has someone waiting for our arrival. The how and the when and the where don't always look safe or reliable, but we get on the train just the same. And in the end, we look back and realize that the very thing that seemed scary or even unsafe, was actually kind of cool. And we're glad to have had the experience.

Tweet

Conference in Munich

I just returned from a conference in Munich on the Importance of Measuring Ministry Effectiveness. The event was hosted by the Maclellan Foundation, who invited several of their European grant recipients to participate. I attended as a representative of the National Council of French Evangelicals (NCFE) along with one of my French colleagues. We both work with the NCFE Church Planting Learning Community--a project that is partially funded by a grant from the Maclellan Foundation.

Because my name badge identified me as working with the NCFE, others naturally assumed that I was French. Since participants came from more than ten different countries, the sessions were conducted in English. I cannot tell you how many times someone said to me, "Wow! You speak English really well. You barely have an accent!" At which point, I would admit to being American. But I was left wondering if I do actually have an accent when I speak English!

For the purposes of collaboration and synergy, we were put on inter-organizational teams. The five people on my team ranged from a Dutch guy who ran a sports ministry in the Netherlands to a Romanian chap who works to encourage church planting movements all across Europe to a German fellow who cultivates new ways of doing church in Germany to an American man who works with an on-line ministry in Turkey to a British man who leads a prayer ministry in England to me--an American Girl working with Church Planting in France. And THAT is but a small sampling of the people and ministries that were represented.

How refreshing to be among Kingdom People who are committed to doing Kingdom Work for the glory and honor of the Father! These people passionately engage in the ministries set before them, excited to see God accomplish his purposes on earth. None were proud, positioning, or parading their successes; all were humble, hopeful, and happy to learn.

One ministry team was particularly striking as one colleague was from Russia and the other was from Ukraine. As they introduced their organization they joked, "And look! We haven't killed each other." They are colleagues from countries poised for war against each other, yet they remained united in purpose as children of God.

I was deeply impressed by the Maclellan Foundation! They go way beyond simply funding ministries. They invest time to build relationships and offer training that empowers ministry success. The entire event was carefully planned, excellently executed, and the things I learned were both valuable and useful. Above all, I was blessed by the connections that I made with people doing awesome work all over Europe. 

Tweet

The Beginning of the Bac

Remember the SAT?

Now imagine if it didn't only have English and Math sections, but chemistry, biology, history, and TWO foreign languages. Then imagine taking that test in a language other than English.

Ouf.

THAT is what Chandler began today. He is the French equivalent of a Junior in High School, and he was required to take the French Written section of his Baccalaureate Exam today. On July 1 he will take his French Oral exam. Next year he will test in all of the other subjects. Grades do not matter when it comes to earning a High School diploma (Baccalaureate) in France, one MUST achieve a certain combined score on his final exams. 

This morning, as I got ready to drive Chandler to his exam, I wanted to tell him how proud I was of him. So I looked him in the eye, and started to speak, but I got totally choked up. What that boy has accomplished in these four years in France is impressive. He's virtually mastered a second language! But even more impressive is the spirit with which he's achieved this lofty goal. Chandler has been a picture of perseverance, faithfulness, and optimism. He has been tenacious but kind, dogged but hopeful. 

The results matter. This test will affect his future. But the most important results have already been determined. Chandler is an over-comer. 

Tweet

Say it in French

It was time for my thirty-minute one-on-one with Leighton Ford. Only I didn't know what I wanted to discuss. Isn't that just the way it goes? I get thirty minutes of uninterrupted time with a spiritual giant and I find myself at a loss of words.

He welcomed me warmly, made small talk, and then gently asked, "Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, or would you just like to visit?"

"Well," I stammered sheepishly, "if there's one thing I'm really struggling with in my ministry it's the French language. Perhaps you can speak into that."

I went on to share an experience about a time when I completely flubbed three simple sentences in front of a room full of French leaders.

"What were the sentences?" he asked.

So I spoke them in English.

"Say it in French," he said. 

So I spoke them in French.

"I do have a story that you might relate to," he said.

And then he told me about a time when he was working on a Billy Graham Crusade in Australia. He had been fighting a cold, and between the travel and all of his speaking engagements he had almost entirely lost his voice. In the midst of that time, he was assigned to preach at the Air Force Base. He found himself in a giant hangar (at which point in the story he said, "you know what that's like, since your husband is a pilot." I don't ever remember telling him that my husband was a pilot, but that eighty-three year old man doesn't seem to forget anything.). Hangars have the worst acoustics imaginable, so he was grateful to see a microphone, through which he would proclaim the Gospel to about 500 airmen. When he took the stage, the microphone was positioned too low, and as he tried to adjust it, he broke it. With no voice, no amplification, and poor acoustics, he croaked out the high-speed version of the Good News, and left. He was horribly discouraged by the whole ordeal.

But then, a few days later, he received a phone call from the chaplain of the base. Since Leighton had preached, over 25 men had come to see the chaplain and decided to follow Jesus.

"Thus," he concluded, "it seems that God can do his work whether or not he uses our words."

I nodded appreciatively. Our time was drawing to a close. I took a token photo of us, thanked him for his time and wisdom, and went on my way.

The next morning, our last day together, Leighton was leading us in a time of sharing and gratitude. He asked us to reflect on the things that we saw, heard, tasted, smelled, and felt during our time together at Apple Hill. As there were participants from at least eight different countries in the group of 24 people, I said that I was blessed by hearing English spoken with lovely accents by those who were speaking English as a second (or third!) language.

Another person was about to jump in to share, when Leighton gently raised his hand to hush the group. He looked directly at me, deeply into me, and he said, "Say it in French."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I began to tremble, conscious of the many French speakers in the room who would surely hear my mistakes. He waited patiently. They all waited.

"J'aime entendre l'accent des gens qui parlent anglais comme une langue étrangère."

Just then a young man from Angola asked (in heavily accented English), "Does she have an accent in French?"

I bowed my head, defeated. I know the answer. I have a horrible accent.

"It's poetry," came the reply from the only French person in the room. "It's poetry."

How easy it is to hear the beauty of another's accent. How difficult it is to acknowledge that the same could be said of mine. I'm sure people are just being kind, extending grace while cringing from within. And yet, the Spirit can speak, does speak, in spite of it all. 

Tweet

The Nest

"I am in a place in my life and ministry where I feel like I am being pushed out of the nest."

These were the exact words I used to describe my condition during a small group yesterday, here in the North Carolina Hills, where I am attending a gathering for mentors.

When we arrived in France almost four years ago, I had to go back to zero. I've been learning a new language, navigating a new culture, making new friends, and starting over from scratch where ministry is concerned. I  felt diminished, like at forty God had sent me back to preschool. It was humbling, and agonizing, and I could easily relate to stories of people who were recovering from a stroke, having to relearn the basics.

What I hadn't realized--perhaps because I was so overwhelmed by my incapacity--was that God had placed me in a pretty safe incubator. I was weak and needy, but I was also protected, nurtured, and encouraged.

Now, after having been strengthened for a while, I am being  called to fly. Its time to leave the nest, but this little bird is no longer sure she can fly.

These were my thoughts yesterday, sitting in a lovely setting, surrounded by new friends, listening to the Lord.

During a fifteen minute break, I felt the need to get some fresh air. I walked just a little ways when suddenly a flash of movement streaked through my peripheral vision. Turning my head, I saw a baby bird lying in the grass on his back, feet straight up in the air. His tiny chest was pulsing--he was alive. Just then another bird swooped down to his side. Though I moved threateningly close, the guardian bird stood his ground, unflinching.

And so the three of us stood in silence, waiting. A minute later, the fallen bird righted himself, and flew away, though he stayed low to the ground. Only then did the guardian take flight.

All morning I had been contemplating the idea of leaving the nest, wondering if I would dare to fly, fearing that I would likely fall.

Indeed, I will fall.

But I have a guardian, and knowing this might just give me the freedom to go. To fail. And eventually, to find a way to flutter on.

Tweet

The Hope of France

I hesitate to write about my experience over the past few days because my meager words will never do justice to the powerful work that God has begun. I witnessed more holy moments than I could count. I interacted with national denominational leaders who were steeped in grace and humility. I think I may have actually witnessed the place from which a revival in France will be birthed--oh Lord, make it so!

As I shift into reporter-mode, hold in your heart a deep and divine anticipation. The description will be sadly lacking in spirit, and it could be easy to read what follows as if it is some sort of strategic plan or human effort. In truth, it is nothing short of a miracle. 

For the second time in a year, teams representing nine different French denominations gathered in the town of Lyon to work collaboratively on the goal of tripling the number of churches in France. The range of theological differences in this group is about as wide as you can imagine--but they are of one mind in essentials and united in their desire to see the country of France reached with the gospel of Jesus Christ. So they resist the urge to debate doctrine, and instead choose to pray together, to confess sin and weakness to one another, to encourage each other, and to work hand in hand for God's kingdom purposes.  

The unity that they have built transcends not only denominational differences, but generational differences as well. Older, weary men are daring to believe that, though they've not yet seen it in their lifetime, a revival in France may be possible. Young leaders are holding fast to their hope and enthusiasm despite the experience of their predecessors. There was a point during the conference when the older generation expressed their discouragement, lamenting the fact they their labor through the years has resulted in such little fruit. The younger generation came around them in prayer, honoring them for their faithfulness and perseverance. It was a holy moment of reconciliation, as grey haired heroes wiped tears from their eyes and eager young warriors took on the burden of their spiritual fathers with a renewed respect. 

And so with one mind and one purpose,  they wrestled with this question: "What would it take to see a disciple multiplication movement in France?"

One theme kept rising to the surface--an unwelcome, disturbing theme. Death.

Death to ourselves and our own mini-kingdoms. Death to our schedules and agendas. Death to our models and methods. Death to our way of thinking and our shallow faith and our pitiful plans. The verse that seemed to rule the conference was John 12:24, "I tell you the solemn truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces much grain."

A solemn truth, indeed. Death is no easy thing. Necessary, but not easy. 

There were no quick decisions. The French wisely count the cost. They analyze, they debate, they question, they challenge. But when they come to a resolution, they stand firm. 

The resounding resolution was that if a movement is to happen, it will start with those in the room doing the essential things that need to be done. In other words, if I, personally, am not making disciples that make disciples, I have no right to teach my study group or my congregation to do the same. If I am not willing to share the Gospel, I cannot presume to teach a course of evangelism. Ah, but if we do those things, and if they begin to bear fruit, then we can easily inspire and equip others to do the same. 

And so 45 denominational leaders left the conference with a commitment to do two things, the two things that Jesus commanded his disciples to do. Follow and fish. Over the next six months they will hold each other accountable to do those two things personally. 

Beyond that, they set hopeful, God-led goals for their denominations. They imagined new possibilities, envisioned new projects, and they made action plans, trusting that the Lord for on-going power and direction. 

There is a palpable hope for what God has planned, a renewed intentionality about making disciples who make disciples, and a deepened desire to see God's kingdom established here on earth--because the King is worthy.

Tweet

French Test

I'm in the midst of a French Test. I'm trying to get an honest assessment of my current level so that I can be more intentional about continuing to progress.

Yesterday I took the Oral Expression part of the test, today I took the Written Expression part. I still have to do Oral and Written Comprehension. Some days I think that I am never going to get this language down.

The funny thing is, many mono-ligual American would consider us to be bilingual at this point. We are not. Chandler is the closest, and even he thinks he has a long way to go.

Language learning has its benefits, though. It helps me to stay humble. It helps me to stay dependent on others. It helps me not to take myself too seriously. It helps me to think before I speak, and it definitely keeps me from rambling on. I don't waste words in French, I only say what is absolutely necessary!

Yesterday I was on a three hour conference call with three French men. I barely uttered a peep. At the end, one of the guys said, "Hey, we didn't hear much from you." Another guy said, "That's because we kept cutting her off!" Which was true. But in English, I'm pretty sure I would've made myself heard. I'd have pushed harder. I'd have spoken louder. In French, I'm much better at shutting up. 

The funny thing is, there was one point where I thought something really needed to be said, so I kept trying to get a word in edgewise. I tried and tried to express one pertinent thought, and I couldn't get a break. After 15 minutes of this, one of the guys finally said the very thing that I had been trying to say. I sat back satisfied. It turns out that I really didn't care who got credit for idea, I just knew the idea would be helpful and I wanted it to get shared. Which makes me wonder if I might even be a nicer person in French than I am in English.

So no matter what results I get on this French Test, I'll still keep working on it. But I hope that as my skills progress, I'll be able to keep what my ineptness has taught me.

There really is beauty in weakness. 

Tweet

Happy New Year from the French Alps!

The boys are here for their GEM Youth Conference, and David and I tagged along to help with cooking for the group. Graham is leading worship and enjoying time with his best friend, Kayla.

Chandler broke his toe, but it didn't stop him from tearing up the slopes. He skied like a maniac on that foot, swearing all along that he felt no pain. 

Between meal preparation I find a fire and put up my feet, read a bit, or knit a few rows.

Even the cooks were blessed with a free afternoon to hop up the mountain and ski. It was a wonderful sunny day.

Seriously, I know 40-somethings shouldn't take selfies, but David and I wanted to catch our moment together on the slopes.

What a wonderful way to start a new year!

Tweet

A French Wedding

On Saturday, David and I were witnesses in a French wedding. It was a marriage between two church members, both of whom have been previously married and who each have five children.

A civil ceremony is required in France--in fact, it is the only ceremony that matters in the eyes of the law. Conducted by the mayor of the town in a very official manner, the civil ceremony takes place in City Hall.

Witnesses sit on either side of the bride and groom and sign official documents once the vows have been exchanged. Typically, only close family members and witnesses attend the civil ceremony, though other friends and family wait outside to cheer when the newlyweds leave the building.

The entire thing takes about 10 minutes from start to finish. Christian couples will typically have a church ceremony following the civil ceremony--both on the same day. This was the case for our friends.

The civil ceremony was at 10 a.m. and the church ceremony was at 3:30 p.m. As David and I were both participating in the church wedding, we don't have any photos from that yet!

It was the first time we were allowed in to witness a civil ceremony, so it was culturally enriching experience. We were honored to be asked to participate in our friends' special day. 

Tweet