Working on My Aim

I am a "Ready, FIRE!, Aim" kind of person who is married to a "Ready, Aim..., Aim again, Re-Aim, Are you sure this is the right target? Shake out arms, Scratch nose, Aim..., Adjust Aim, Get advice about Aim, Verify Aim, Double check Aim, Aim..., Breath...Fire, if you must." kind of person.

Example #1: This week I diligently folded an ENTIRE load of dirty laundry--a mistake made possible by the fact that my one laundry machine is both washer and dryer. The washer/dryer combo is notorious for producing hideously wrinkled clothes, so the condition of the load was not exactly shocking. After I hastily (but neatly) folded AND put away a load of clothes AND re-loaded the machine with a new load of dirty clothes, I opened the Soap Tray only to discover it was full of unused detergent.

I then went and smelled some of the clothes that I had just put away and realized what I had done. I regathered the load from around the house, praying I hadn't forgotten anything. I UNLOADED the clothes I had just loaded, UNFOLDED the clothes I had just folded, RELOADED the machine, and finally started the cycle, all the while wondering, "Who in the world would put a load of laundry in the washing machine, add the soap, and then hesitate or wait to start the washing process? Of course that very person might ask, "Who in the world would fold a load of laundry without first verifying that it is, indeed, clean?"

Example #2: David completed our taxes over a week ago, but he didn't file them. He went through and re-checked every single line and number on Tuesday, but he didn't submit them. Today I asked if our taxes were done and he said, "I just want to look over them once more before I actually send them."

Thorough, he is. Fast, he is not.

Sometimes his "aiming" drives me crazy. "For heaven's sake," I think, "Just get 'er done!" He does tend to over-think things. But how many times has his careful reflection saved my impulsive butt? More times than I can count!

Today I am feeling ever-so-thankful for my careful husband. God uses David to help me slow down, which seems to be a life-long lesson for me. I know he is the pilot, but in all honesty, I am the one who likes to go Mach 10 with my hair on fire! David reminds me to savor moments, to smell the roses, and to take pleasure in the process.

I have memorized a verse from the Bible that speaks to this weakness of mine. It is Proverbs 19:2 and it says:

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.

Zeal? I got it!

Hasty? That's me.

Miss the way? Yeah. I do that, too. (See ex. 1)

I guess you could say that I'm working on my aim.

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Les Bandes Dessinées

My husband in the world's biggest fan of comic strips. He always reads the Funnies first, and as he does, he laughs out loud with such enthusiasm I find myself asking, "What?!?! What is SO funny?"

Sometimes comic strip humor is totally lost on me. Thanks to David's careful instruction in "Comic Strip Appreciation 101" I have figured out why. I tend to be attracted to words, so I carefully read each word in every panel, and then say, "I don't get it." To which David replies, "You have to look at the pictures!" Aha! It is so true. Isn't that the beauty of the Comic Strip? The humor is always found in the marriage of the words and pictures.

In France, comic strips are called, "les bandes dessinées," or "les B-D" for short. This week in our French Biblical Language class, we were introduced to the works of Alain Auderset, a French Christan comic strip artist. I'd like to share with you a sample of his work.

In many ways, it needs no interpretation, but for you grammar geeks like me, who gravitate towards all things linguistic, I will provide one.

In the first panel the mans wonders, "From where did we come? Who are we? Why are we here?"

In the second panel he cries out, "God, why have you left us with no response?"

In the third panel, well, look at the picture!

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Praying for France

We were sitting together in our cozy living room, sipping our morning brew, wondering why we had woken up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. We lingered over meandering conversation for three good, long cups of tea before we made the spontaneous decision to go in to Paris. Our boys were still sleeping when we sneaked out of the house and headed to the train station.

We had no strict plans, only two nebulous hopes for the day. We wanted to go up to Sacre Coeur and spend a few minutes praying over the city of Paris, and we wanted to eat lunch in a cozy, quintessentially French cafe.

Sacre Coeur is the Basilica church that sits up on top of Montmartre. The first time we came to France David and I visited this church, and as I sat inside it I wept. I did not understand why I was crying at the time. I just remember feeling a deep, deep sadness. Now, as I look back on the experience from 2007, I think that it was then that God began to write a call to France on our hearts.

When you climb up to Sacre Coeur and then turn around, you can see all of Paris stretched out in front of you. This photo is a little hazy, but if you are one who is called to pray for France, I encourage you to print it out as a visual aid for your prayers. David and I stood in the spot where we took this picture, and prayed for the city of Paris. We prayed for the enemy's strongholds to be broken. We prayed for truth to be revealed. We prayed for revival.

This banner is currently hanging on Sacre Coeur. It says, "For 125 years, here, day and night, someone prays to Lord. Come worship the Lord." Sacre Coeur has had a prayer vigil going non-stop for 125 years! As amazing as that is, more prayer is needed.

Will you prayerfully consider coming to France to pray?

We are seriously looking for teams of believers who will come on short term ( 1-2 weeks) mission trips for the sole purpose of praying over France. This country is strangled by strongholds. Nothing will change here without the power of prayer. We want to unleash the Spirit of God over the places where He is leading us to plant churches, and we need your help. If you are feeling led to come or to lead a team to come and pray, please send us an e-mail.

After a lovely time on Montmartre, we wandered back down to Ile de la Cite for a lovely dejeunner dans un petit resto. A wonderful couple from Greece took this picture. Can you imagine how fun it was for two Americans to have a conversation in French with two Greeks? 3/4 of the way through the conversation they found out that we were from the U.S., said that they also spoke English, and so we finished the conversation in our native tongue. They are tour guides in Greece, and so we got their e-mail and plan to look them up if we make it to Greece someday.

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Should Missionaries be Poor?

So I've been pondering this question: "Should missionaries be poor?"

I have been looking at this idea from two different perspectives:

1. Having spent much of my life NOT as a missionary, I generally assumed that missionaries WERE poor, but I had not questioned whether or not they OUGHT to be so. What I now realize is that many missionaries may appear poor because they live in impoverished countries and serve impoverished people. In that case a missionary may chose a more simple lifestyle to better minister to those he/she go to serve.
2. Having now become a missionary, I have met a great deal of missionaries who seem to think they SHOULD be poor since they are missionaries. But the missionaries I am meeting are not in a third world country, and they are not serving impoverished people. So should they really BE poor?

The thought that plagues me is this: What if I am living more extravagantly than those who are making sacrifices to support me? That thought makes me sick to my stomach. I mean I did get to go skiing in the Alps over Christmas vacation. Is that right? Should missionaries ski?

But then again, doesn't perspective play a role? You see, I FEEL like I am living a life of luxury in so many ways. And compared to much of the world, I am. I have running water, a warm bed, and electricity (most of the time!). But I bet if my American friends were to evaluate my everyday living situation, they would not call my life "luxurious." For example, we only have one car and we live in an 800 sq. ft. apartment. I don't know a single American family of four who lives like that. And I am not complaining...I really do feel blessed, it just occurred to me that we live differently than we did before we came on the mission field.

And I wonder how much of a persons' economic situation--whether missionary or not--boils down to personal choices. I mean we make a lot of choices to economize in some areas so that we can splurge in others. Don't you? We don't have cable T.V., we rarely eat out, we never go to movies, and we do our own taxes. We choose to save money in those areas because we love to travel, and we would rather save on some little day to day things so that we can spring for the occasional grand adventure.

Finally, a lot of a person's economic situation has to do with attitude. A lot of missionaries (and some non-missionaries, too!) have a bit of a "poverty" mentality. They think that they CAN'T afford things, and they seems to focus on THOSE things.

When my kids were little and we were in a store, and they asked, "Mommy, can I have this?" I decided resolutely to never tell them, "We can't afford that." I decided that because the one time I remember saying it, I was convicted. In that particular instance, "We can't afford that" was a lie. The truthful answer would have been, "If I buy that toy for you, I will not be able to buy the expensive hair conditioner that I want to buy for me." And then I began to notice that most often it was not the case that we could NOT afford something; but rather, that we had CHOSEN to afford something else.

Now I am not saying that "we can't afford that" is always a lie. When buying a home, a family must look carefully at their income to decide how much home they can afford. In that case it is very wise to be able to say, "We like that house, but we can't afford it" if, that is indeed the case.

But I hear, "We can't afford that" from most missionaries in reference to things like a new computer, a weekend away, or dinner out. And I think to myself, "really?" Is it really that you can't afford those things, or are you making other choices? And if you have chosen to put your kids in soccer clubs and to buy scrap-booking materials, then why not say with satisfaction, "We have chosen to do other things with our disposable income this month, " rather than "We can't afford it."

When our boys were little, and sometimes still today, when they ask, "Will you buy me this?" the answer we most frequently give is this: "God gives us enough money for ALL of the things that we need, and SOME of the things that we want. We need decide if this is really the WANT that we WANT right now. If we buy this it will mean that we can't do or buy ____________. I would prefer ______________. What do you think?" This is the most honest answer that I know how to give. Oh, and our boys know that we ALWAYS pay cash, and that large WANTS require months of saving, and therefore months of saying "no" to other wants.

But in that exercise with my boys, I realized that I was convicted by the "We can't afford that" response for a deeper reason. You see God is my Father, and my Father can afford everything. But because He doesn't want spoiled brats for children, He is careful and wise in how bestows material blessings. Sometimes, "We can't afford it" is a cop-out answer. God NEVER gives that response when He choses NOT to give us something. Sometimes, "No" to ourselves and to our children is the most loving and kind response; yet, if we let ourselves believe we have said, "No" because "we can't afford it" then we rob the "No" of its power.

Let's say, for example, that my son wants a certain video game. And let'say that at that moment 2 things are true: 1.) We do not have the disposable income set aside for that game at the moment and 2.) We don't think that the video game has acceptable content. How often do we use the first reason to avoid having to address the issues in the second? But how much more valuable would the experience be if we chose to prioritize the second reason for saying, "No!"? And how much better might we know our heavenly Father if, when we feel He has denied us certain "blessings," we ask Him to reveal to us the "blessing of His 'No.'"?

But back to the missionary question! While I believe that all of the above is true, I guess I am starting to wonder if people believe that missionaries should not have any disposable income at all. That is to say, should we only raise enough money to meet our absolute most basic of needs, live hand to mouth, month to month, barely getting by? And if we are to live that way, why? I really want to know. Tell me what you think!

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L'Amour de Dieu

Tomorrow I will give the meditation for our classroom devotions. This is what I will share. You can translate it in Googe Translate if you want to read it in English.

Quand j’étais un enfant, la première chanson que j’ai apprise à chanter était “Jésus m’Aime.” J’ai toujours su que Jésus m’aime, mais souvent c’est quelque chose que je sais dans ma tête, mais pas quelque chose que je sens dans mon cœur.

Depuis que je suis devenue une adulte, il y avait beaucoup de choses que je devais faire. Je devais être une bonne espouse et une bonne maman. Je devais payer mes factures et faire des courses. Je devais être une bonne amie, une bonne sœur, une bonne missionaire, et notamment une bonne chrétienne. Maintenant il faut que je sois une bonne éleve.

C’est vrai que Dieu voudrait que je fasse toutes ces choses avec excellence. Col 3:23 dit:

Quel que soit votre travail, faites-le de tout votre cœur, et cela par égard pour le Seigneur et non par égard pour des hommes.

Bien que je doive faire les choses avec excellence, je ne les fais pas pour gagner l’amour de Dieu. Il faut que je me souvienne que c’est impossible de gagner l’amour de Dieu. L’amour de Dieu est un cadeau. Il n’y a rien que je peux faire afin de gagner ni perdre l’amour de Dieu. Et toi non plus ! Il n’y a rien que je peux faire pour augmenter ni diminuer l’amour de Dieu. Et toi non plus ! Il nous aime toujours, malgré nos fautes. On le sait, mais on ne le croit pas. Donc on travaille come si on doit gagner l’amour de Dieu. Pourtant, son amour pour moi et le meme si je reçois 5/20 ou 20/20 sur mes examens.

Je me souviens quand mes fils étaient les petits bébés. Chaque jour je les regardais et mon cœur se remplissait d’amour. Mes bébés n’avaient rien fait ! Ils criaient, ils mangeaient, ils faisaient leurs besoins-c’est-à-dire ils faisaient le pi-pi, et ils interrompaient mon sommeil. Mais je les aimaient quand même. Ils n’avaient pas essayé de gagner mon amour. Je les aimais…je les aime parce qu’ils sont mes enfants. Je pense que c’est la meme chose entre Dieu et nous.

Quand mes enfants étaient petit, je les aimais tant que j’ai crée des chansons pour leur exprimer mon amour. J’ai decouvert que Dieu fait la meme chose. Savez-vous que Dieu chante pour toi? Lisons ensemble Sophonie 3:17:

L’Eternel ton Dieu et au milieu de toi unguerrier qui te sauve. Il sera transporté de joie à ton sujet et il le renouvellera dans son amour pour toi. Oui, à cause de toi, il poussera des cris de joie, et il exultera.

À cause de toi ! Ou grace à toi ! Il exultera grace à toi ! Grace à moi !

Quand on peut recevoir l’amour de Dieu pas comme un salaire qu’il faut gagner, mais comme un cadeau qu’il faut simplement recevoir, ça nous changera. On ne peut pas être fier de nos aptitudes parce qu’ils ne nous gagnent rien. On ferra les choses excellent afin de remericer Dieu,mais pas pour nos egos. On ferra les choses excellentes afin de montrer notre amour à Dieu, mais pas pour gagner son amour. On ferra les choses excellentes avec joie, pas par obligation.

Dieu nous aime. On doit le savoir dans nos têtes et dans nos cœurs.

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In the Making

We are made in the image of God, who is the maker of all things. Perhaps that is why each of us, in his or her own way, has a creative bent. Here are just a few things that were made in our house this week:

There was a Beef Provencal, which simmered all day in a crock pot and welcomed us home from a long day at school.

Lego creations are never lacking in my home. While the boys are capable of making great masterpieces, it was this simple structure that I found on my coffee table today. Graham made it, and I love it.

David and I made a Prayer Board. This wipe board will hang in our dining room and we will use it to keep track of prayer requests and answers to prayer. It is already filled with wonderful reminders, names of loved ones, and even a drawing or two.

I am making a sweater. I bought this yarn with some of my birthday money, and I love having something to create once my homework is finished.

Chandler makes video games. Here he is working on one that he calls, "Dinner Time," where the cook of the finest restaurant in town must protect his gourmet dinner from hungry hooligans.

And finally, I made this cake...but I am sure it won't last long because we hungry hooligans plan to devour it after dinner tonight!

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A Journey Towards Friendship

"How many countries have you been to?" And so began our conversation around the Olson's dinner table...a conversation that continued almost seamlessly through the next 36 hours.

We have just returned home from Germany, where we spent two wonderful nights at the home of our friends. The Olsons are from Spokane, but they have lived in Germany for the past 3 1/2 years. None of us could remember the last time we had actually seen each other, yet all of us...the children and the adults, picked up as if we had seen each other just last week.

Actually, that is not exactly true. The husbands and children picked up as if they had seen each other just last week. For Sharon and me it was a new beginning. A much needed new beginning. A wonderful, grace-filled, redemptive new beginning.

You see, Sharon and I had many mutual friends in Spokane, which meant that we crossed paths fairly often. Our children are similar ages, our husbands enjoy each another, and we were in a book club together. But in spite of numerous opportunities, we never really forged a friendship of our own.

I wish I could say that it was just "one of those things." It would be easy to let you assume that we were happy to be acquaintances and that we really didn't have enough in common to seek out a genuine relationship with each other. But that would be a lie. In fact, we are very much alike. Sharon is a friend who shares her life lovingly, a mother who parents with passion, a wife who is fierce in her devotion to her husband. She loves adventure, she speaks passionately, she reads voraciously, she laughs easily.

Why, with so much fertile ground, did friendship fail to bloom? Oh how I hate to name the weeds that choked our early attempts at relationship. Envy. Distrust. Misunderstanding. Pride. Ugly sins I harbored in my heart kept me from enjoying a dear, dear sister in Christ. What silliness it all seems now.

I am not sure how it happened. Perhaps I matured a little. We had the blessing of time and space. Certainly God has been at work. He has changed me, He continues to change me, and I will be forever grateful. And because of His work in my heart, I am being freed from the bondages of envy, distrust, and pride. How grateful I am for those people who keep their hearts open to me, even through years of disappointment. How pleased I am that my God can redeem everything.

Sharon blessed me this week. She blessed me with warm hospitality, with generous gifts, and with an open heart. After years of false starts and failed attempts, the bud of true friendship has finally broken through the soil. How like God to not give up on us. For heaven's sake, He pursued us across the globe. He brought us both to Europe, gave us a second chance, and alas, love has won out.

The hours we spent in the Olson's home were holy moments. They were honest and real and life-giving moments. They shared everything they have with us--even their own friends. And I know it was just the beginning.

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