Sunday, July 12, 2009

Snipping at the Apron Strings

Words cannot describe the spectrum of emotions that I felt as I watched my two boys confidently walk through security at the Charlotte airport--without me.

Originally, the four of us were scheduled to fly back to the Northwest yesterday. But it turns out that David and I have one more week of required training here in North Carolina, a discovery that was made late last week. Rather than changing all four airline tickets, we decided to let the boys fly back to Portland and spend the week at my parents' house while David and I hung around in the deep south to complete our classes.

Graham and Chan were totally up to the adventure, which required a short lay-over and plane change in Washington D.C. They knew what to do and were sure they could do it. When they arrived in D.C. and discovered they would have to take a shuttle to a different terminal to find their departure gate, they were completely undaunted. They ordered and ate dinner. They bought a little candy for dessert. They found their way, despite flight delays, to my parents' welcoming smiles 2000 miles away.

Half of me is dancing the happy dance! Those boys are AWESOME! CAPABLE! BRAVE! Hip Hip Hooray!

The other half of me is grieving. Begin solemn music: "Is this the little boy I carried?..." Where did the days of strollers, and blankies, and "hold my hand" go? How did they get so big and so (dare I say it?) independent.

Of course, I want them to grow, to spread their wings, to soar. I just neglected to realize that their soaring would often take them AWAY from me.

Oh Fiddlesticks, now I'm crying!

Yet, I do not want to hold them down. I want to be the loudest voice cheering them on! WAY TO GO, BOYS! I knew you could do it! You make me so very proud. I will be forever grateful for the joy of being your mom.


  1. Right there with you, complete with tears brimming. {{{big hug}}} Good job Mom.