Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Roommate Phase

Every so often, David and I get going on the treadmill of life and unwittingly end up in a place we call "Roommate Phase." Roommate Phase is not violent or ugly. There is no screaming, no fighting, and very little tension. We are not angry at each other. But somewhere between life's required to-do lists and our individual pursuits we have lost touch with each other as friends, soul-mates, and lovers. Roommate Phase is the result of marital complacency, and since it is somewhat comfortable we run the risk of settling into it rather than fighting it with all we've got. We can go for weeks living under the same roof, eating at the same table, sleeping in the same bed, and never connecting. After spending our emotions at work and with our boys, we are simply too tired to engage with one another beyond the surface. And besides, we're married for life, so we figure we can put it off for a day. But days become weeks, and weeks become months, and before we know it we are knee-deep in Roommate Phase.

Well, today I woke up (both physically and mentally) and realized that David and I have wandered aimlessly into Roommate Phase once again. Getting into Roommate Phase is completely effortless, but busting out of Roommate Phase requires something similar to a "Shock and Awe" campaign used in warfare. We both have to acknowledge where we are and agree that we don't want to stay there. We have to be relentless in pursuing each other, silly in our expressions of love, and completely willing to forsake EVERYTHING else (save Jesus!) until our passion is restored. We have to play games, take walks, have sex, and share our hearts in much greater frequency and with much greater intensity than we have in the past few weeks. We have to choose NOT to believe the lie that "things are fine" and get down on our knees and ask God to help us. We need to seek forgiveness for not cherishing each other, and purposely move towards each other even though it would be easier to stay where we are.

So, David, while I enjoy being your roommate, I am passionate about being your wife. I am dedicated to loving you, to learning from you, and to seeking God with you. Roomies no more--I will settle for nothing less than CRAZY IN LOVE with you!

1 comment:

  1. C'est Vrai! No More Roommate! Wildly in love only! Love you too! dr