My Bench

A bench sits in the entry way

To welcome weary guests

To beckon them to stop and stay

And linger in our nest

The bench is meant to bear much weight

For once it was a pew

Where faithful men and women prayed

And worshiped Jesus, too

But my son has another aim

For the bench that I love

And so the squatter has staked his claim

I fear he will not budge

Alas! Chandler a locker lacks

And so, as you can see

His school day lands in clumsy stacks

Upon my bench indeed.

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iDropped

On Friday, the unthinkable happened.

I dropped my iPhone in the toilet.

I had put it in my back pocket, and when I went to use the facilities, well, it sort of slipped out and SPLASH!

After a moment's hesitation, I plunged my bare hand into the depths and boldly retrieved my sunken friend, somehow feeling grateful that it was, at least, my own toilet.

But the screen was black. He was already dead.

I removed the bionic casing that would have protected my phone had I dropped it from my upstairs window. And then, after some basic sanitation efforts, I placed it in a bowl of rice. All of the advice on the Internet suggested leaving the phone in the rice for at least 24 hours. I left it for 48.

When I finally pulled it from the rice, and charged it, I discovered that the sound was working, but the screen was completely blank. I could hear alerts and talk to Siri, but I could not answer calls or read emails or shuffle through music.

So I left it for another day. Still no change.

David, who knows my propensity for accidental phone destruction, had purchased the maximum possible insurance plan. "Just go down to the phone store, Jenn," he encouraged me, "They'll replace your phone."

This morning I stood in a crowded cell phone store, awaiting the assistance of the one and only clerk. When it was my turn I told him my sad story.

"I dropped my phone in the toilet."

He asked my phone number, looked up my insurace plan, and said, "All you have to do is tell me that this did not happen at home."

I stared at him blankly. "But it did happen at home," I said.

"If this happened at home, it is not covered by your insurance plan. If this happened anywhere else in the world, I can replace your phone."

"But I am not going to lie to you," I said, sort of astounded at this odd turn of events.

"Madame, just tell me this happened in a bar, and I will get you a new phone." Everyone in the store was staring at me, listening in on our conversation.

"Monsieur, it happened in my house. And I think it is ridiculous that the insurance won't cover it, but I will not lie about what happened."

So he silently handed the phone back to me.

"How much would a replacement cost?" I asked, exasperated. I had already been three days without a phone, and since we don't have a home phone it is my only means of contact.

"It would be 400€, the full price of a new phone. You used all of your points six months ago when you got this phone and so you won't be eligible for any reductions for another year and a half."

Ugh. I had gotten the phone for 1€ because of my points, and now it was going to cost me 400€ to replace it? Unbelievable.

"Is there any way it can be repaired?" I asked, defeated.

"When an iPhone falls in the water, it's over. There is nothing that can be done."

Five other customers stared at me, sympathetic.

I took my phone and walked out the door. Tears welled up in my eyes. In the past week I learned that our car needs an 800€ repair and there is no way I can afford a new phone this month, not even the most simple phone--seeing as I would be paying full price.

I sighed one of those prayers that has no words and started walking home. I inadvertantly glanced down at the dead phone in my hand, when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, the screen lit up.

It 's fully funtioning; alive.

I'm thinking of renaming it Lazarus.

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Seminary Week 2

Okay, okay. I'm alright! Don't panic. 

I am alive and well, just still trying to find the time and place to write blogs with so much verbal energy going into my coursework. Which, by the way, I love.

I love it, even if, at times, it makes me feel profoundly stupid. Take my discussion questions from my Missional Ecclesiology class. Four questions were asked, and we were required to respond to three of them. Each question (and I am not exaggerating!) took me like 15 minutes to understand. After reading the second question, my first impulse was to put it into Google-Translate. And then I realized the question was in English. Oi.

So David (dear beloved husband of mine) suggested that I post one of the questions and my response, just to give you a taste of the agony/ecstasy that is seminary. So, without further ado, here it goes. The question was based on Part II of An Introduction to Ecclesiology by Kärkäinen (whose name I can finally spell without looking at the book cover--but that alone was a feat!)

Describe Pannenerg’s position on individual vs. corporeal salvation. While some ecclesial traditions have long maintained the necessity of church participation for salvation, Protestants have historically championed individual salvation. Does the decline of Christendom arrangement in North America collapse the binary: individual vs. corporeal?

Did you have to reread that? Honestly, I know what every word in those sentences means, and I still did not understand it without great effort. And I've actually done the reading! So, anyway, here is my attempt at a response:

While most theologians prioritize individual salvation before ecclesiology, Pannenberg believes that individual salvation cannot be attained apart from the church because the church is the “bearer of the Spirit of God and God’s grace.” (p. 114) Furthermore, Pannenberg connects the idea of election to corporeal rather than individual salvation. In my opinion, the decline of Christendom in North America does not so much collapse the binary as ignore it all together. Pannenberg views the individual and the church as integrally connected, which would necessitate a binary understanding of salvation; however the North American church only speaks of one type of salvation (the individual). That is to say, while Pannenberg views the church as the elect, which gathers individuals, North Americans view the church as the place where the elect gather. 

I read the question to David and he laughed out loud. Then he said, "Jenn, you know everyone is basically bluffing their responses, right?" As the seasoned seminarian in  the family, I chose to take his word for it. Then I read him my response and he said, "Well, I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it sure sounds scholarly."

Well, I can bluff with the best of them!

However, such writing really makes me miss the sublime art of blogging, where I don't have to bluff because, as they say, the truth is stranger than fiction.

Speaking of which, why is that when David is away a service light comes on in the car, two sinks get clogged, the refrigerator starts leaking, the water bill is inflated by (no kidding) 2000%, and the scanner (which I need to use for my classes) decides to end its relationship with my computer? Oh, and Chandler thinks he has Strep throat, and now that he mentions it, my throat is feeling a bit scratchy, too.

Fortunately, Chandler's computer is still on speaking terms with the printer, so we scan my course work into his computer, and then he e-mails it to me. That's how this inductive Bible Study got turned in on time:

So given the fact that my life has been overtaken by seminary, I suspect that at least one blog post a week (for the next while) will pertain to my studies. But I'm gonna do my best to write at least one non-school-related post each week; I promise. 

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Ten Totally Trivial Tidbits

1. We've had ten people around our table for lunch every day this week. Some super amazing aspiring church planters are in Loches for a week of intensive training, and we've had the privilege of hosting the midday meal. Our dishwasher has been doing its fair share of the work!
2. On Friday I will fly to North Carolina to attend a gathering of the Leighton Ford Mentoring Community. I'm excited for this experience, which will better equip me for my role as a facilitator for the Mentoring Community that was just started by the Federation of French Evangelicals (FFE). Mentoring is a novel concept in France, so the goal of the FFE Mentoring Community is to train and equip mentors for emerging French leaders.
3. David is working on a 3000 piece puzzle. He promises me that he adds at least one piece a day, so by my calculations, I should expect to have a puzzle-in-process in my dining room until Chandler graduates from medical school--in like 9 years.
   
4. Last week I was the "Global Woman Highlight" for Thrive, an on-line magazine for women who work cross-culturally. Really, all it means is that I got to write a blurb about myself so that others can pray for me. But if you care to read what eloquent words I wrote about my eloquent self, feel free to click the link. Oh, the reason I got asked to be the "Global Woman Highlight" is because Thrive has published several articles that I've written--you know, which weren't necessarily, exclusively ALL ABOUT ME, like this little ditty. 
5. My allergies are so bad right now I could claw my eyes out, which would be one way to remove the aforementioned puzzle from my sight. 
   
6. I have been sleeping really well the past week. You might think that is a good thing. I find it slightly irritating. Why? Because I am accustomed to waking up at 3 a.m. and having three lovely hours to think and pray before I get out of bed at 6 a.m. But when the alarm goes off at 6 and actually wakes me up, I seriously resent the fact that I have to get up without having had my think-time. My whole day seems off! Not sure what to do about this problem, but since it rarely lasts, I'm trying to just endure these crazy 8-hours-in-a-row-of-sleep that I am getting. Maybe a little jet lag will throw me back into my regular sleep-deprived (but thought rich) pattern. Here's hoping?
7. I've been photographing food a lot lately because I want to make a cook book of favorite family recipes for Graham for graduation. The problem is I need to get past the "photographing food" phase to the "imputing recipes" phase--which is where the project loses all its allure for me. Perhaps I could recruit David to help, but then that could detract from the time he needs to devote to the puzzle, which might mean that the puzzle-in-progress in my dining room will be there long enough for grandchildren to one day help in its completion.
   
8. I'm reading Dallas Willard's Renovation of the Heart. Challenging, but good.
9. You know that verse that says that God can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine? At this moment in my life, I believe that I am seeing God do immeasurably more than all I've asked or imagined--both in my personal life and in my ministry. It's cool, and it's all HIS work; yet, it hasn't come about easily. For example, leading up to this time I suffered about 4 months of panic attacks. When God takes you to the High Places, you have to walk on some pretty rugged terrain. My panic attacks have stopped for now, and I'm grateful. But if that's what it takes for me to experience a work of God in my life, I'd endure them forever. 
10. Jack is only growing in his belief that he is king of the world. Good thing he is loved, because he knows no modesty!
    

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A Day for Birthdays

This amazing boy turned 17 years old yesterday!

We celebrated his greatness by inviting a few friends over, friends aged 7-70 

(Diversity of age in friendships is one of my favorite things about living in community!)

These friends were asked to share an affirmation for Chandler.

He was honored for being hardworking, polite, faithful, compassionate, fun-loving, and kind. 

True. All true.

He received each word of encouragement with humility and grace.

And then we ate the cheesecake, which was his cake of choice.

Meanwhile, back in the States...

My oldest nephew anxiously awaited the birth of his first-born son.

This baby boy--the debut of a new generation--was named for both his father (Jordan Burris Korth)

And my father (Burris Dennis)

And he shares a birthday with Chandler.

Introducing  Burris Korth, Born April 22, 2014

Burris with his grandma (my sister, Barbara)


Much love and hearty congratulations to the new parents, Jordan and Chelsea!

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iPlunged

I just got an iPhone. I chose it because I needed wanted a new phone and our cellular provider was offering the iPhone 4s (an older version) for 1€. Now the boys have started calling me their iMom as I am the first person in our family to have an iPhone. All I know is that I need my iGlasses to read just about anything on said iPhone.

I did learn how to silence all my notifications during the night so that I can use my iPhone as an alarm without hearing chiming and dinging and barking all night. That's a cool feature. And I like that the agenda that I use on my iPad will now be in sync with the agenda on my phone, which wasn't possible before. For the first time in my life, I downloaded music so that I can use my iPhone as an iPod. Awesome. 

But I have this lurking fear that I've crossed over to the dark side. Because Mac enthusiasts scare me. You Mac people have a bit of a superiority complex when it comes to your computers. You really, truly believe that your Macs are in every way better than any kind of PC, that they are the answer to every computer problem, a technology messiah of sorts. Honestly, I just don't see it. 

Yet. I do LOVE my iPad and my iPhone. I love the silky softness of their touch screens. I love the amazing responsiveness. I love the way everything is so easily integrated and accessible. Dang it! Am I becoming one of you? 

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Ten Totally Trivial Tidbits

1. Last week David and Graham helped to lead worship at an ecumenical service in Loches. Every January we join together with the Catholic church in our town for a Wednesday evening service, focusing on the things we have in common, which are, honestly, the main things--salvation through Christ alone, unity in the Holy Spirit, and love for the Father. 

2. I do not understand Pinterest. I just don't get it. I don't know if I want to get it. Can someone please tell me what they like about Pinterest? Should I figure it out?

3. Google+ is also an enigma to me. Why do I see posts from people that I do not know? 

4. On the contrary, I totally dig a website called ravelry.com where I can find all sorts of knitting and crochet patterns, many of which are free! I recently crocheted a super cute pair of baby converse. See:

The pattern is free and can be found here.

5. Our summer plans are starting to come together. Looks like we'll be taking a two month furlough, spending July and August in beautiful Spokane, Washington. But I don't know how to take a furlough, so if you have any advice I'd love to hear it. I'm pretty sure furloughs include Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream, boxes and boxes of Lucky Charms, and plenty of trips to Thai Bamboo.

6. Last time I preached one of my sons asked, "Why do people laugh at you all the time?" Hello? I'm funny. When will my kids finally accept that truth? 

7. Here's my new favorite super-flavorful/super-easy dinner-in-one-pan-but-NOT-a-casserole recipe. I modify it by using boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I bake the green beans and potatoes for 30 minutes while marinating the chicken. Then I add the chicken to the pan for just the last 30 minutes of cooking time. Comes out perfect every time, and it's pretty too!

You can find the recipe here.

8. I really wish you people would pass along some good fiction titles. I love non-fiction as much as anybody, but a girl needs some book candy every now and then. Throw me a bone! I'll give an amazon gift card to the person who recommends a fiction book that WOWs me! Yes, I will BUY you a book if you can just suggest a good one that I haven't read.

9. Anytime someone in our house speaks a three syllable phrase, Chandler sings the phrase to the tune of the Tranformers! theme song. "Where's Gemma?" "Pass the salt." "Don't do that." Are you humming along? The rest of us are avoiding three syllable phrases these days. 

10. David is in the final week of P90X--an intensive exercise regime. He's lost 14 pounds and he is looking GOOOOOOOOOD!

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10 Totally Trivial Tidbits

1. This past week was  packed with training people! David helped to train 4 gifted, bright, passionate young French evangelists in the fine arts of hermeneutics and homelitics. I trained 3 brilliant, inspired, faithful young women to teach our new Sunday School curriculum. Last night, tired but deeply satisfied, David and I shared a long embrace. Wrapped in the arms of my beloved I said, "We live a weird life. Twenty years ago, did you ever imagine that we'd one day be training Christian leaders in France?" He shook his head and added, "In French! We did it in French." Yep. I'm amazed. 
2. I'm really liking purple these days. I bought purple place mats for the dining room, a purple binder for the Sunday School curriculum, and a purple sweater for my fall wardrobe. Strange. Does that make me an old lady?
3. I just finished knitting a scarf for David and I just started knitting a scarf for myself. I am simply giddy about the yarn I found for my scarf! It's not purple. But the ladies in my knitting group, who are eager to see me progress in my knitting abilities said, "You need to knit something besides scarves!" The thing is, I am in the middle of knitting a cardigan as well, but I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by that project, so I'm taking a little break and knitting scarves--with really great (non-purple) yarn.
4. I love my iPad, except for the auto-correct feature. After having several auto-correct mishaps during a recent Facebook chat, I typed, "I hate auto-correct!" But it auto-corrected that to "I hate colorectal!" Now tell me, how do explain that one?
5. I'm reading the most wonderful book right now, called "Une soupe aux herbes sauvages." It's a memoir written by a woman who grew up in rural France during the early 1900s. Man, it was a hard life! Yet, there are moments of joy and tenderness. I'm also reading a religious history of France, a book about an American who renovates a house in France, a book about mentoring, and a book about miracles, healing, and deliverance ministries. Clearly, I am lacking in the fiction realm. Please let me know if you've read any great fiction lately--I'm downright desperate for a good novel! (BTW, David and the boys are still bothered by my tendency to be in the midst of reading several books at once, but I like it! Variety is the spice of life. Do you read just one book at a time?)
6. A friend of mine found canned jalapenos in France, which is, you know, really cool! And rare! Knowing that I'm a big fan, she bought me several cans. They are SO good. But there is an oddity. When I open the can, there is a layer of carrots on top. Yes, there are carrots in the jalapenos. Why?
7. God has been speaking to me lately about compassion. I don't really understand compassion, but the Gospels record numerous instances when Jesus was moved to action because He had compassion. He willingly entered into other people's pain. When I see suffering, I want to run as fast as I can in the other direction--I have no compassion, thus my response to suffering is unloving. But lately God has made it impossible for me to run, and consequently, a tiny spark of compassion has been ignited in my heart. I'd kind of like to snuff it out, but I suspect God has a different plan. A better plan. I'm going to try to trust Him. But between you and me, it's kind of freaking me out.
8. Today we had our first parent-teacher conferences of the school year. According to all of his professors, Chandler is "presque parfait !" Almost perfect. Like I needed them to tell me that. 
9. We leave this afternoon for our annual GEM France conference in the alps. Graham will be leading worship this year, and the rest of  the Williamson family is his back-up band. He's put a great deal of planning into it, and we've had two good rehearsals. Its pretty awesome to watch my boys take the lead in some of this stuff. Awesome and fun. And sometimes hilarious.  Spoiler alert: We may be doing a rendition of "Religious Man" from Nacho Libre. Bring your sombreros! 
10. I did a new Pilates video this week, and let's just say that I am the most uncoordinated human being on the face of the earth. I was literally tied up in knots. On the bright side, I was appropriately sore in all the right places, so I might have done it correctly!

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Eating the Elephant

Ahhh September. With the freshness of a new school-year comes crispy leaves, new soup recipes, and a torrential onslaught of new commitments and activities. I'm either going to drown or learn to surf! How do I determine the best use of my time? Balancing ministry and family can be such a tricky thing!

As I wrestle with my day-planner, struggling to find more hours in the week, I come across this verse:

But the Pharisees and experts in the law (read: Religious Professionals) rejected God's purpose for themselves....Luke 7:30 (parenthetical comment mine)

Which makes me ask, "Can I reject God's purposes?" After all, I believe in the absolute sovereignty of God. But according to this verse, it seems that God, in his sovereignty, allows people to reject his purposes. Religious people rejected his purposes. In the words of the French, "Aie aie aie !"

I want to embrace God's purposes for my life with both arms wide and a big fat kiss. I fear that by not living attentively, I could inadvertently reject them, even as a missionary (read: Religious Professional). How can I be sure to follow the Lord's leading? 

So after a fervent prayer that goes something like this: "Oh dear God, please help me not to blow it!" I set out to make a plan.

Step One: Ask God to reveal my Front Burner Projects

These are the the things that he is bringing to the forefront of my life. The things that weigh heaviest on my heart, or the ministries for which I have the greatest vision, or the opportunities that are time-sensitive. 

Step Two: Ask God to reveal my Back Burner Projects

These are the things that are in my life, but are not at a critical junction. They may require an occasional "stir" or "sprinkle" but they are not top priority. They may be things that will eventually be top priority or that used to be top priority. 

Step Three: Ask God to reveal my Refrigerator Projects

These are things that I need to keep on my radar, things that I believe will one day be on the Front Burner, but things that are not yet critical. They are sometimes longer-term projects, sometimes seasonal projects. They may go in and out of the refrigerator depending on my availability and their urgency.

Once I have a bead on God's priorities for my life, I take it to the practical phase

.

Step Four:  Plan Action Steps

For each Front Burner and Back Burner Project, I assign weekly (or sometimes daily) tasks. If the tasks don't have natural due dates (like a conference), I assign arbitrary ones so that I have a goal to work towards (as I've done with some writing projects). 

Step Five: Evaluate the Plan

I estimate the number of hours per week dedicated to each task. I then add things that are an on-going, regular, essential part of my life, such as quiet times, exercise regime, dates with David, and housekeeping. Is it a balanced plan? Is it realistic? Is it God's purpose on paper?

Step Six: Seek Feedback

First, I ask David to look over my plan. He evaluates it based on everything he knows about me, us, our family, and God. I fine tune based on his feedback. Next I send the list to a ministry partner. My ministry partner also offers helpful feedback and valuable insights. I fine tune again.

Finally, its time to implement. But one step remains...one that is perhaps the most essential.

Step Seven: Hold the Plan in an Open Hand
Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. 
Jesus has dominion over my days, and he can change my plans as he sees fit. Some say, "Why bother planning?" but Seeing as Jesus lives in eternity and know the future, he is quite capable to lead me as I make plans. But he doesn't reveal everything. This way, I walk closely by his side, listening for daily direction.

The Open Hand is essential. The day, and I mean THE DAY I completed my plan and entered everything into my daily planner, two of my plans got changed. Discernment helps me to know when to hold to my plans and when to deviate--this is the daily, step by step leading of the Lord that keeps life exciting.

So, what's your plan?

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Blatherings

This is one of those rare days when I think I *should* blog, but I don't really have anything to blog about. Which is fair warning that what follows may not be worth reading. Proceed at your own risk.

I checked my blog stats the other day day and discovered that Four for France has quite a following in Russia. I'm like the David Hasselhof of Moscow.Well, not really.

Today Chandler checked the stats of an online video game and discovered that Black-Ops enthusiasts have (virtually) killed 197% of the world's (actual) population. I have no idea how many of those enthusiasts are from Russia, but three of them live in my house.

I am thinking of entering a Tyndale Publishing writing competition, but  have to have a book proposal ready by August 1 to do so. I have an absolute God-send-of-a-friend helping me, but I'm still not sure I can meet that deadline. Plus--newsflash!--writing a book is hard! Who knew?

As I spend hours everyday writing/editing/staring blankly at the computer screen, I find that I exhaust my verbal resources for the day. And I get uncharacteristically quiet. It turns out that if I don't talk during dinner, no one does. I knew I was the biggest talker in my family. I now suspect that I may be the only talker in my family.

We have a young, smart, vibrant French girl staying with us through the weekend. She has just finished her university studies and is seeking the Lord's will for her next steps. Through a friend of a friend, she heard about the church planting training center in Loches and is considering  joining us in the fall. I think she would be an awesome addition to a church planting team, so I'm finding it hard to pray unbiased prayers on her behalf! 

I am SO ready for the weekend. Sadly Gemma does not do a good job of observing the Sabbath. She wakes up at 6 am on Saturday just like every other day of the week. She's a perfect heathen! 

Well, folks, that's all I've got. My head is pounding, words are slurring in my head, and I have got to get away from the keyboard. Love and blessing to you--and  for all mu Russian friends, Спокойной ночи.

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The Beauty of Cross-Training

The super-buff woman in my Pilates DVD always says, "Engage your core."

So I suck in my gut and and ask my midsection, "Core, are you engaged?"

And I hear my belly bellow back, "Engaged? I'm not even dating!"

I wonder if it is possible to do Pilates with a core that has commitment issues. Probably not. Maybe I should switch to yoga.

Thus goes my fickle friendship with the world of cross-training. I prefer the simplicity of my relationship with running, where the only question is "Which way shall we go today?" I'm not saying we always get along, but we have found a working rhythm after 16 years. 

The thing is,  I've broken into the realm of (cue spooky music) MIDDLE-AGE, and I've heard that I need to consider things like bone-density, flexibility, and strength training. Forget the fantasy of cute leggings and stylish hair bands, it's not about the accessories anymore! I'm feeling my age, and to tell you the truth, I think forty-two feels pretty good. Still, that stretching work-out this morning nearly killed me. When did my toes move so far from my fingers? 

Gone are the days when physical fitness was about beauty. This is about survival, people! I suppose my core needs to end its fling with Hazelnut Gelato and start looking for a life-partner. It's time to get engaged.

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By the Numbers

38

The number of different people who have slept in our house over the past three months

85

The number of different people who have eaten a meal in our house over the past three months 

43

The number of nights we have had guests sleeping in our home over the past three months

0

The number of guests currently in our home

4

The number of times I have been to Paris in the past four weeks

4

The number of major projects that I neglected postponed until our guests left

15

The number of days that I have to complete said projects

3

The number of school days remaining for Graham and Chandler

55

The number of days until we go to Ireland for our summer vacation

34

The number of books on my Amazon wish list

5

The number of books I am currently reading

5

The number of puppies that were recently born to Gemma's mama

0

The number of puppies we will be getting

1

The number of cats in our house who are happy about that

14

The number of chapters that will be in the book that I am writing

3

The number of chapters that I have actually written

0

The number of hours I have spent working on said book over that past 6 weeks (see top three numbers)

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Bienvenue !

Welcome to the newly designed Four for France blog! Didn't Emily from Designer Blogs do a great job? I am so happy with her work!

(If you receive this post by e-mail, be sure to click on over to see our new digs!)

Here is a quick tour of some of the new features:

• First, glance up at the tab on your browser and feast your eyes on the cutest little FAVICON ever! Isn't it adorable? I'm lovin' my fleur de lys!
• Second, take a look at the bottom of this post. Each post will now have a plethora of SHARING options. If you like something that you read here, you can simply click on one of the buttons below and share it with the people in your networks your dearest friends. 
• Third, notice the SOCIAL NETWORKING buttons on the sidebar. Those buttons will take you straight to my other Internet haunts. I'd love to be able to connect with you through those venues, so be sure to link up with me if you're in the neighborhood.
• Finally, feel free to grab my BUTTON for your blog! If you are a fellow blogger who would like to provide a link back to Four for France, the HTML code is yours for the taking right there on the lower part of the sidebar. 

Well, those are the highlights! Let me know what you think! 

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Testing

Running up the stairs to Platform 2, we saw the TGV humming on the tracks, unmoving. But the doors had closed and the mustached, uniformed man subtly shook his head, telling us that boarding was no longer an option. Just then the train began to creep forward; seats 22 and 23 of car 14 were vacant. We missed it.

Typically, I am an easy-going traveler, one who goes with the flow. Calm. Assured. Unflappable. But yesterday, something in me snapped. It was 8:15 a.m., and I was supposed to be on a train to Paris with Graham, who was scheduled to take a AP World History exam at noon. This was the only possible date for him to take the exam, and the International School in Paris was the only location with the credentials to administer the test. We had paid the non-refundable $250 test fee and we were told that he had to be at the testing site, Photo I.D. in hand, at 11:45 sharp.

But we missed the train. I held back tears as I went into the ticket office and explained our predicament. The next possible train to Paris departed at 10:15 a.m. It was scheduled to arrive at the Montparnasse station at 11:15 a.m. From there we would have to take the Metro, and then walk about 6 blocks. We would never make it to the school by 11:45, but we had no other option. I paid the penalty to change our tickets.

Then I called David and asked him to e-mail our contact to let her know that we may be a little late but that we were coming. I did not know if "late" would be an option. Many standardized tests have strict start times, and therefore those who do not arrive on time are not permitted entrance.

Graham was cool and collected the whole time. We had hoped to grab an early lunch in Paris before the exam, but now lunch would have to wait until the test ended at 3:30--if he got in, that is. So, as is normal for Graham, food was his only real concern. While he took everything in stride, he kept asking me why I was panicking. Because I am not usually a panicker.

I think I was feeling that very rare (for me!) burden of responsibility. David, a first-born, has what I think of as an over-developed sense of responsibility. I, a baby, have practically no sense of responsibility. But suddenly, I was the one who had to get Graham to the test center on time! I really should not be entrusted with such tasks! I can't take the pressure.

We waited in the train station café until 15 minutes before our scheduled departure, then we headed up to the platform. We might have missed the second train because we were patiently waiting on Platform 2, when (by what MUST have been divine intervention!) we realized that we were supposed to be on Platform Z. Honestly, there are are only TWO platforms at the St-Pierre-des-Corps Station, and one is Platform 1, (also called Z) and the other is Platform 2, (also called V). Do you know how similar a 2 and a Z look digitally? They couldn't have used V and X? Arrrggghhhh. We arrived at Platform Z at the same time as our train, and happily got on board.

I was starting to calm down a bit as we moved through car 16 towards seats 11 and 12. When we found our places, a man was already sitting in one of the seats. He insisted that he was the rightful owner of seat 11. We reexamined our tickets. Clearly, they said car 16, seats 11 and 12. Finally, reluctantly, and quite annoyed, the man pulled out his ticket. Indeed, he did have seat 11, but he was in the wrong car. He should have been in 18. He was not happy to move, but at that point he had to surrender his post.

The TGV got us to Montparnasse right on time, and we exited the train at a clip. We paused at a sandwich stand to consider getting a bite for Graham on the run, but realized the line was too long and it wasn't moving. It was already 11:25. Thankful that we always keep a ready supply of Metro tickets, Graham and I headed down the stairs towards Green Line 12, Direction Marie d'Issy. Once we were on the Metro, I stole a glance at my watch. 11:32.

We got off at the Convention stop, and climbed out into beautiful Paris. I looked at the information that David had carefully assembled, trying to determine how I would find the school. Unfortunately, my dear husband had printed a map for me. A map. After 20 years of marriage, he still does not realize that I can't read a map. Graham can read maps, but Paris streets are not always labeled and they change names frequently. So I did what I always do in these types of circumstances: I called David. The phone conversation went something like this:

"David, we are at the Convention Metro stop, but I can't find any street names and I don't know which way to walk.

"You want to head Southwest."

(Long silence while I fight the urge to throw myself on the ground and pitch a fit.) "Honey, that doesn't really help me."

11:43

At this point he is on Google Maps, looking at the street view on his computer screen. (What did people do before the Internet?) "Do you see the 'Café Convention?'"

"Yes!"

"Stand with your back to the Café Convention."

I dutifully position myself as instructed.

"Turn right and walk!"

"Thank you!"

We turned right and walked....very quickly. I actually broke a sweat.

Once oriented, following the map was a piece of cake. Of course it helped that David mentioned that my next turn would be a right at the Carrefour Market--those kinds of directions make sense to me.

We found the school, and then I made a classic American blunder. The e-mail I received said to go to the second floor. So I went up one flight of stairs and started looking for the right office. Not finding it, a student came to our rescue. I told him who I was looking for, and he said, "Oh, her office is on the second floor!" European second floor=American third floor. I know that one, but clearly, this day was meant to be a comedy of errors.

Up one floor, red cheeked and winded, we arrived. 11:55.  I wondered if we had made it in time. I imagined a room full of 50 students waiting in weighted silence for the 12:00 exam to begin, and Graham being told that he was too late. Instead, a warm, completely unruffled woman appeared. In a lilting Irish accent she informed us that Graham was actually the only one scheduled to take the AP World History Exam, and that the test, though indeed timed, would be administered and proctored just for him. Our tardiness turned out to be a total non- issue.

And so I left him,with the promise of cheeseburgers upon my return. I met my dear friend and my goddaughter for lunch. We wandered the streets of Paris, and then at 3:30 we returned to the school, McDonald's bag in hand, to meet Graham coming out from his test.

That boy never once seemed bothered by the craziness of the day. He gets that from me. I did not enjoy playing the role of the responsible parent, and I am so thankful for a husband who was made for the part. Me? I'm more cut out for comic relief. 

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Ten Totally Trivial Tidbits

1. About the saga of the blue balloon: everything came out well in the end. The balloon was green when it resurfaced, but it was fully intact. It was David who made the discovery, and his efforts paid off! Had we not found the balloon within 48 hours, we would have had to take Gemma to the vet for an x-ray and possibly surgery. Praise God for the functioning digestive tract of our dog!
2. About Chandler's birthday present: we ended up getting him a video game AND something he did not ask for. But not red skinny jeans. We got him a new Bible. His old Bible was literally falling apart at the seams, and it was more of a kid's Bible. His new Bible is a leather-bound men's devotional Bible, and he really likes it. 
3. About David's birthday present: we (meaning me, the boys, and my parents) got him a one-hour flight in an ultra-light, where he will fly over 6 châteaux in our belle region. He has not yet scheduled the flight, but hopes to take it on a lovely summer morning. That pilot of mine needs some time in the sky!
4. About the weather: Last week was beautiful every single day, except Friday--when I had planned a barbecue to celebrate David's and Chandler's birthdays. Friday it rained, and our party was forced indoors! We are again having gorgeous weather this week, and I am SO thankful!
5. About our summer vacation: we (meaning I) just booked a week at a cottage on a farm in the countryside of IRELAND! We will drive there (taking the 12-hour ferry across the Channel) at the end of August. I found our lodging in National Geographic's list of the the Ten Best Places to Stay in Ireland, and was shocked by how INexpensive this place is. It is called a "self-catering" cabin, which means we will have a small kitchen and can prepare all of our own meals. At the end of our stay at the farm, we will drive to the Dublin area and stay with some GEM friends/colleagues for a few days--this way we can see the Irish city-side, too. I am SO excited! 
6. About our crazy schedule: it's still crazy. Lots of visitors, lots of projects, lots of fun!
7. About Marie--the friend of mine for whom many of you are praying: She is starting the 7 Signs of John (an evangelistic Bible study) with her neighbor this week! This is the same study that I did with her a year ago. Marie is growing in her faith, and eagerly sharing with her friends. How about you? Are you eagerly telling your friends about what Jesus has done for you?
8. About my book: I am on track to have a proposal completed before David restarts his MDiv classes on the 12th of May. I am so thankful for those who are helping me in this process! It is daunting.
9. About what I'm reading: I just finished a book called Divergent. Futuristic, sci-fi-ish, better than Hunger Games, in my humble opinion. Not everyone would like it. But I thought it was a good read. Book candy. For those looking for something meatier, may I recommend Godly Servants, by David Teague? It is written specifically for missionaries, but I think any believer could benefit.
10. About my  projects: I put my cardigan knitting project on hold so I could start working on a baby blanket for a friend who is due in a month and a half--creativity is good for my soul.

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Tickets, Purses, and Towels...oh my!

We recently bought a DVD of the Flintstones (called Les Pierrafeu in French) to watch during down times. I'm sure you've seen this cartoon classic. Do you remember that Fred's car was powered by his own feet? And do you remember how long it takes for Fred's car to move after he starts running? He seems to run in place FOREVER before that car will budge. Well that is exactly how I feel about our housing situation. We are just a-runnin' as hard as we can and we are going absolutely NOWHERE! Still, eventually I believe the car will move. For the time, however, I will spare you the details. Suffice it to say that since language school starts next week we are moving in to a furnished apartment in Massy for hopefully 2 weeks, after which we will to move (with our stuff) into a place of our own. In the meantime, our container will arrive and be unloaded into a storage unit. Running, running, running.... This waiting business is hard work!

So while I have little to report on the housing front, I have much with which to regale you in other arenas. Not the least of which is the man-bag debate that has surfaced in our family. You may or may not know that it is quite common in France for men to carry--well--purse-like bags. They also wear skinny jeans, but that's another story. Anyways, I would say that at least 50% of the men I see carry, um, bags. This was somewhat funny to me, though not completely foreign as my father-in-law has been a bag-man for years. What IS new to me is the apparent reason behind the evolution of the man bag: the French passion for paperwork. To drive our car we have to have a Grey Card with us. This is, as our car salesman put it, the car's passport. It is not something we can leave in the car because we need to have it in case someone steals our car. But as I said before, you are required to carry it with you when you drive. It is approximately 4"x6" when folded--larger than the average man's wallet. So there's that. And then there is the French driver's license, which we do not yet have, but is also rather large. And then there is the Carte de séjour, which is like a green card, which we also have to have with us, which is also quite large. All of this is no big deal to me. I have a purse for all that stuff. But David is a bit befuddled, and thereby contemplating... dum, da dum dum, duuummmmmmm...getting a man bag. There. I said it. My husband is in the market for a purse. And I think he is man enough to pull it off, if he must.

In other news, we received some interesting mail yesterday: two letters, very official looking, all in French. They were speeding tickets. Yes, both of them. Here is the funny thing, neither David nor I are speeders. We both ALWAYS go the speed limit. When we know it, that is. I guess we need to learn some French rules of the road. We even knew that there were speed-cameras all over the place--and we thought we were being careful! In Paris there is one camera that generates 1 Million Euros in revenue each year--which is probably how they can afford socialized medicine. Providentially, we can't tell which of us was driving the car when said tickets were merited. We are not going to try to figure that out either. It's just better not knowing.

Yesterday brought some good news, too. We started the process of registering our boys for school and found that the Adaptation Class (the one for non-French speaking students) does not start until October. Between now and then the boys have to take placement tests, etc. In the meantime, our language school had two openings in the beginners class, which means the boys will get a jump-start on their French by going to full-time language school with David and me for the month of September. We also visited their school, and while Graham and Chandler were reluctant to start that daunting process, by the end of the day both boys were feeling like it was not going to be as bad as they had originally thought. They were encouraged, which in turn, encouraged me.

Now if I could just figure out where one goes to buy towels in France, I would feel on top of the world. Our towels from home were getting old and funky, so rather than pack them in the container, we tossed them and planned to buy new in France. Easier said than done. There is no Target, no Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and no JC Penney. I saw towels in the Cora--which is sort of like a Fred Meyer, but there was not much of a selection. There are all sorts of specialty stores, but I have not landed on the towel store yet. We will need them by tomorrow, so this is my great quest for the day. Towels or Bust.

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Death by Cucumber

I know that I am prone to exaggerate, but I honestly had a moment last week when I thought I was going to die. I was at the women's Bible study at my church, where I was scheduled to speak later in the evening. Having not had time to eat dinner, I was enjoying the snacks that were available while socializing with a dear friend. Suddenly, I inhaled (rather than swallowed) a thin slice of cucumber, which landed smack dab on the top of my windpipe.

I could not breathe. I was stunned, confused, and scared. I looked at my friend with wide eyes, wordlessly trying to communicate my distress. Thinking I was just being my normal dramatic self, she continued our conversation and asked me a question that I could not answer.

In my silence, the gravity of my situation dawned on her, and she frantically asked, "Are you choking?" I nodded vigorously, and began doing the most unladylike contortions of my body that I have ever done. Pride is worthless when you think you are dying.

My friend called out into a room full of women, "Does anyone know the Heimlich Maneuver?"

Three women standing nearby thought she was joking. Hmmm. That sounds like how I would've responded, had it not been me who was in desperate need of a breath. Note to self: NEVER joke about needing the Heimlich, and ALWAYS assume that someone calling for it is in genuine need.

One woman did come over to me to perform the Heimlich when, by my own efforts (and probably divine intervention) the wicked sliver of a vegetable was finally dislodged from its deathly destination.

I lived.

But in the moment of terror, I actually thought that I could be the victim of death by cucumber. I could just hear Eliza Dolittle telling Henry Higgins how I reached my demise:

"Them says it was a cucumber that done her in!"

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Did you know...

Did you know that we still have Christmas lights up on our house? In our defense, it snowed today, and somehow the lights did not seem so out of place in April when snow was falling. We are, well, slightly behind in many endeavors. The Easter Bunnies were out in time, but that had more to do with the fact that company was coming to my house than an "on-the-ball" "with-it-ness" of seasonal awareness. I missed Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day altogether in terms of decor, which totally bums me out because I have the most amazing shamrock covered teapot. You know how some stores have "Christmas in July?" Do you think I could have "St. Patrick's Day in May?" One season we didn't dare to miss? Tax season. While I don't do any special decorating in honor of April 15th, our taxes were officially filed on time, thanks to David. I do wonder if Hallmark makes Tax Day cards and kitsch. Its possible.

Did you know that I am the only one in my house that can watch American Idol without having a guitar in my hands? Probably because I don't play guitar. Or because I do not consider American Idol to be a "sing along" or a "play along" show. I find myself saying, "Shhhh, I can't hear the T.V.!!!" Call me crazy, but I actually like to listen to the contestants. Nevertheless, I am starting to feel, I don't know, empty handed during the only T.V. show that we watch in our home on a regular basis. Perhaps I could get a Ukulele. Or a bagpipe. If you can't beat 'em....

Did you know that I think Alcatraz is about the creepiest place I have ever been? It wasn't just the iron bars, the concrete floors, and the very on-display toilets in each cell. (Though the toilets did remind me of a recurring nightmare that I have that involves an ice cream parlor, a public toilet, and a bus-load of Shriners--but that's another story.) I swear there was just a general eeriness about the place. I learned a lot, but it was a lot of stuff that, having no plans to ever "do time in the big house" I could have lived my whole life without knowing. I didn't even feel a glimmer of hope in the inmate library--the library!--the happiest place on earth. How is it possible to not even feel hopeful in a library? It didn't help that I got seasick on the boat going out to the island.

Did you know that I haven't slept in the past three nights? On the bright side, I am getting a lot of praying done. Because as long as I'm up I might as well do something productive and I just can't bring myself to get out there in the snow and take down the Christmas lights. (Do you notice how that was written as if I have ever put up or taken down Christmas lights in my entire life--which I haven't?) So I pray. Lest you think that this is some subtle hint to David to take down the Christmas lights, be assured that I have not an ounce of subtlety in me. I actually only JUST realized that the Christmas lights were still up, and I am somewhat bemused about it. So late at night/early in the morning, Christmas lights just happen to be one of many things that God and I talk about. Not like, "Oh dear Lord, what ever shall I do about my Christmas lights?" Rather, like "Lord, my life is so blessedly full that not only were Christmas lights up on my house for Spring Break, but I think there may still be Thanksgiving leftovers in the Fridge. Please help me to keep up with you, and all you are doing in my life." Thankfully, I think God is a little bemused Himself.

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Top 10 Things I Like About Being 39

Though I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy, and though the details of my birth are fraught with controversy (mom claims I was breech, dad says I wasn't), I have always felt quite loved and celebrated as a result of my birth. Today I turn 39, and I have a lot to be happy about!

Here are the Top Ten Things I Like about Being 39:

10. It isn't 40!

9. One day I may say, "When I was 39 years old, we moved to France."

8. Paid-for cars.

7. Teenage sons! (And the daily dinner conversations that ensue) (And the rock band in my living room.)

6. Having a marriage that only gets better with age--better in every way.

5. The grey-streak in my hair.

4. A waning interest in the Pottery Barn Catalog.

3. A growing interest in eye-cream and retirement savings.

2. Finally being comfortable enough in my own skin that I can genuinely appreciate the gifts and talents of others.

1. No matter how old I get, I'm still a child of God!

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A Post in Which I Mention my Unmentionables

I recently took another one of those personality profile-type tests. This one was called the SOI and it is meant to reveal my style of influence, whatever that means. One of the things that this test proved to be true about me is that my preference for detail is low. I am better with long-term vision and big-picture thinking. I can develop steps for implementation of a vision...to a point. I can even build teams and delegate responsibilities to accomplish a big-picture goal. But if I get caught in the finer points of a planning process, eventually, the minutia kills me. Or I kill it, I'm not sure which.

So, being made aware (once again) of my weaknesses where details are concerned, I also came to the conclusion that I would probably NOT put much effort into improving myself in that area. I rationalized that since I do not tend to lose things or miss appointments, I am functionally organized and therefore not very motivated to learn to pay more attention to details. Besides, when the rubber meets the road, David IS a detail person, and he usually takes care of enough details for both of us...filing things that need filing, balancing the checkbook, alphabetizing books and movies, and maintaining our database. (I have headache from just listing those things. Attending to them would push me over the edge.)

The day after I had completed this personality assessment, I was getting ready to go to the gym to work out. Being aware of my full schedule for the day, it occurred to me that I would need to shower and dress at the gym once I completed my workout. I packed a bag with my clothes, hairdryer, and make-up, put on sweats, and headed out.

After my Step-Aerobics class, I showered and got dressed. Or rather, I tried to get dressed. Unfortunately, I quickly discovered that I had forgotten to pack certain unmentionables. I boldly decided that I was a big girl and I could go commando for a day without anyone ever knowing. Moving on, I reached into my bag for my shoes and pulled them out. The left shoe was brown. The right shoe was black. Suddenly, I was seeing the value in learning to pay closer attention to details. My tennis shoes did NOT go with work clothes I was wearing, and I did not have time to go home before my first appointment. Oh bother.

And here is why my husband deserves the Husband of the Year Award: His patience with me endures FOREVER. Yes, he delivers. He met me at my destination, a black shoe in one hand and unmentionables in the other. No chastising. No exasperation. No eye-rolling. Just a knowing grin.

But perhaps I will work to improve my attention to details. Because there are times when the details really do matter and really do depend on me. This is my lesson for the week.

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