Wednesday, April 1, 2009


In January of 2005, I had big dreams. I was convinced that God had something else for me, and I was determined to discover exactly what that "something else" was. I talked with David, I talked with God, and in the end, I decided that my "something else" was one of two things. I was either going to be pregnant or enrolled in Law School by September of 2005. That was my plan.

I committed my plans to the Lord, and set the wheels in motion for God to direct my paths. Confident that He was going to either give me another baby or give me a new career, I pursued both possibilities: I began fertility treatments (because by medical standards I am infertile) and I applied to Law School. By March I had been accepted to Law School, but even on Clomid I was not ovulating. It was beginning to look like God was pointing to the J.D.

And then I had the dream. A real know, at night, while I was sleeping. I rarely remember my dreams, but this one was vivid in my mind from the moment I awoke.

And here's where you might begin to think I am crazy.

But that dream stopped me in my tracks, and changed the course of my life.

I discontinued my fertility treatments AND I declined my spot at Gonzaga Law School.

And I waited. Because the dream didn't kill my yearning for "something else" it redirected it. But to what? Well, that was the big question, wasn't it?

Shortly thereafter, I forgot the dream, and I hadn't thought about it in years. And then a few weeks ago, in my Bible Study on the book of Daniel, there was a question that asked, "Can you remember your last spirit-striking dream?" I left the answer blank, because I could not remember any significant dreams, but while I was sitting in my small group discussing that chapter, the dream from 2005 came back to me with amazing clarity and detail. I think I know why God reminded me of that dream now, but first, I need to ask you a question.

Do you believe that God still speaks through dreams? He did it in the Old Testament. He did it in the New Testament. He had never done it for me before,and He hasn't done it since. But I think maybe once, God used a dream to speak to me.

Do you want to know what I dreamed? Here it is:

David and the boys and I were on a road trip, and we made a pit stop at a very familiar Circle K in Umatilla, OR. I told David that I needed to use the restroom, and headed for the dingy door in back with the handwritten "Ladies" sign. Up until this point everything in the dream was familiar in real life, and fairly normal. But as I pushed open the bathroom door, I entered a large and luxurious tiled bathroom with three stalls. Each stall was a full bathroom, complete with sinks and showers. So I immediately decided that I wanted to take a shower, and walked to the first stall, but as I looked in, I saw something repulsive. Right in the middle of this beautiful shower was a large pile of poop. (I just dreamed it, so don't blame me if it's gross!) I back out, stunned and disgusted. Now I really needed shower! I went to the next stall, anticipating the warmth and cleansing, but as I tried to enter the second stall, I saw someone in it. A janitor with a friendly smile was in that stall, making it sparkle and shine. He did not seem the least bit surprised to see me, but almost like he expected me. He said, "I'm still working here, but you should use the next stall, I've already cleaned it." Encouraged, I moved on to stall number three. As I opened the door on the third stall, I realized that this was the was the best one. I couldn't really see all of the way in, but right inside the door was a woman behind a desk, ready to hand me a fluffy white, warmed, towel, and a bathrobe. She, too, seemed to be expecting me. And while I had a sense that I was about to have the best shower of my life, I was told that I would have to wait just a minute before entering.

And then I woke up. Never seeing fully in to the third stall, but convinced it was the one for me.

I told David my dream, and we both felt like it was speaking to our circumstances. The poop shower represented Law School--something that appeared appealing at the onset, but upon closer look, would not be satisfying to me. The shower with the janitor represented my desire for another baby--something that was a good thing, but not a part of God's plan for my life. We did not know what the third shower represented, we only saw as a confirmation that God did, indeed, have something else for us, but we could not see what that was at the time--2005

So, fast forward to 2009. When this dream was brought back to my mind recently, I had a bit of an epiphany. I think, perhaps, FRANCE is the third shower! Going to France to share the love of Jesus is my big dream. My something else. That thing that God had planned in advance for me to do (with David and the boys, of course), but had not yet revealed.

So, I'm just wondering. Do you believe that God still speaks through dreams? Because I would not want to ever suggest that a concoction of events from my subconscious mind is a word from the almighty Creator of the universe if it simply isn't so. On the other hand, I would not want to dismiss a message from the King of Kings as a bad burrito.

1 comment:

  1. Well, I do believe he still speaks in dreams. I've had them for a long time. Not "all the time," but often enough. I have dreams that are vivid and I remember for a time, but I know are just dreams. But there are other times when I know I've had "a dream". I've found that with dreams, like with other things He reveals, you never get the full picture! Just enough to guide, comfort, encourage, warn, etc. It's only been recently that I've told others in the church that I have dreams. I even have a friend here who has dreams too!